Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Poor Ol' Grandad...

Final thoughts on Grandpa's were that the food is definitely good... and we ordered wayyy to many things. The danish were good (cheese and lemon flavor) but make sure you dont fill up on them as they are light and addictive. The bacon is nothing really special, not thick but not thin (Bob Evans it Aint!). The Reuben was good, if the other lunch fare is similar then i need to come back for lunch, the corned beef didnt taste over salted and was defnitely slow cooked as it was coming apart very easily with each bite (ergo, fat was rendered out during the cooking). The Reuben's crust.... joyyyyy. I could have put that in a bag and eaten an entire one in front of the tv during a football game.

Onto the stars... the pancakes. Flavor-wise they were good and the blueberries were definitely fresh as they were giving the bloose (blueberry juice) to the rest of the plate. However, they were a little bit overcooked and, in turn, hard to cut into and a bit more chewy and less light than i would have liked. The French Toast was thick.... a little too thick. They followed the first rule of thumb by making sure the bread was stale... but since it was so thick there was a lot of needed 'soak time' which i could tell was not given. However, I let that go since we ordered so much of it! The crust was also a little tough to cut through... in the end it was good but not as soft as this foodie believes French Toast is supposed to taste. At least not the way THIS GUYS Grandpa makes it. And, last but not least, the waffle. To quote SNL: Jizz - in - my - pants! This was one of the best waffles i have had in such a long time. Crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside and topped with the fresh, homemade whipped cream and strawberries. Heaven. I would not mind getting buried alive if my coffin was made from that waffle (may have to change the name of the blog to 'Cla-ffle'). Eh.... i'll think about it.

All in all, i will definitely be going back for some wonderful breakfast and some good service. Even though they were a little slow in keeping the coffee filled... i let it go since we were in the back of the place kind of hidden and that our waitess was a sweetie.

Also, if you stop by the bakery on the way out (provided your not too full) try the cinnamon stick and cheese danish. Honestly, do it now and thank me later... then we can both go to the gym and hit the treadmill with a belly full of sugar-love.

Grandpa's Bakery and Restaurant : 4/5

Well ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. Tune in next time for updates on Feeding South Florida and the results of the Ice Cream Challenge! Until then this is PanClayke reminding you that old people, though slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose.

(ill be right back... DONT YOU GO DYING ON ME!)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Well, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. As for now i am of to take a nap... a long long long long long long long nap, lol. Until next time this is PanClayke, reminding you that bigger is not neccesarily better.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

The once and Future King...

Final thoughts of The Kingdom are that I will totally be going back... but Im gonna stick with the queenburger next time. Honestly, the meat was perfectly cooked to my liking and had a real nice flavor, not to mention the rustic and homemade feel of said burger. All these reasons attributed to yours truly setting a new RECORD for the Doomsday's consumption (11min 32sec... BEAT THAT MAN V FOOD!) *note - Man v. Food will be coming to the Kingdom on 2/3/2010!* Basically, the burgers make one remember how homemade burgers taste... giving someone the taste of home. Now, the fries.... im not gonna lie i expected more. They were nice and well seasoned with something that tasted like a garlic/herb blend, but they were a bit too dry for my liking... i like my fries like my women; thick, hot and covered in cheese. The onion rings, however, were totes on point. cornmeal encrusted and seasoned with the same blend. The only warning i wil give you is that the crunch that comes with these bad boys has the 'Cap'n Crunch' effect and the roof of my mouth is not doing so hot at the moment.

The service was almost better than the food. I dont know if we just had an awesome waitress or she was just astounded by the eating of the doomsday... but our waitress (Stephanie) was a friggin angel. She even shared her wings with Matt and I! She was also extremely attentive considering she was the only one there.

In the end, Matt and I already have plans to go back as The Kingdom is totes a winner! from the service to the food everything was on point. If there was a downside its that it might have been a little too loud inside for the general conversation... but how will you realize that when your bust taking down a friggin awesome burger.

The Kingdom 3.5/4 Pancakes

Well, ladies and Gentlemen, there you have it. Tune in next time for more happenings in South Florida food and, hopefully, the report about how children have been made happier through Quickies Toy Drive... not to mention 'Feeding South Florida'. Until then this is Panclayke reminding you that 1lb = 12oz.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

'Sonny'... with a chance of Hoagie.

Well ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. Tune in next time for more food-ventures/updates in a life currently stinking of awesomeness. Until next time this is PanClayke reminding you to do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

*Here Boy!*

A wise man once told me about a comfort he has at the end of a bad day. Contrary to the 'norm' it was not an illegal substance, a round of retail therepy or a hooker. No, it was something simple, the all american Hot Dog. I did not understand this in the sense that the Frankurter has never been something that gets my dog hot... until today.

In an earlier post I talked about something special vs something you get in the supermarket... and today was the perfect example. Whenever I think of a hot dog I think of something small and born in a litter of eight that dwells on the stove in a pot of luke warm water until its ready to eat... and may or may not have some 'cheez-like substance' in the middle. All this changes today with a trip down Hallandale Beach Boulevard to Fat-Lous.
I remember tasting the Fat-Fare back in high school when a friend who lived nearby told me about the gyros and insisted on my accompanying him on a gyro man-date. From what i remember I went for the gyro and liked what ensued. However, looking over the menu displayed the chicago theme of the restarant perfectly. Dishes from Itallian Beef to Gyros and even baby back ribs. However, flipping to the back of the menu you find a selection of hot dogs with over 20 different topping combinations. Now, of course, the chicago dog is a must and i must say that Lou is doing it right. The frank is all beef and no filler and the poppy seed bun is steamed to perfection before it is topped with fresh relish, onions, tomato, dill pickle spear, mustard and peppers. I think i might need to go to the windy city just to see which i like more but from what i hear this bad boy was too legit to quit. There is something about the saltiness of the mustard and pickle with the sweetness of relish and fresh tomato. Not to mention the crisp casing on the frank and the aroma of the celery salt. This guy took me back to backyard BBQ's and baseball games, coincidently the only two parts of my childhood i dont loathe to this day. This dog also ate less like a snack and more like a whole meal, no wonder Chicago is 'my kinda town'. However, judging from the size of the dogs i have had before and my magical ability to ake food disappear i asked my Chicago Dog if it wanted to bring a friend.
That. It. Did. Since there were 2 dozen of them on the menu it just became a question of which one wanted to come. This led me to the insurmountable need to choose. What was i craving? Well, the 'BBQ Delight' seemed to have something with the sauce and grilled onions, but the 'Mexican Dog' had the tortilla chips for a nice crunch and... OMG look at the fries that guy over there ordered! The only option was the 'My Way Dog' to which i went for BBQ sauce, grilled onions and French Fries. I kid you not when i say i wanted to make love to this burger. The frank was grilled this time which was a nice new texture and the bun was as well lending the sweetness of toasted bread to the equation... as if the BBQ sauce wasnt gving enough sweetness, right. Needless to say, by the time PanClayke was leaving he was two dogs heavier and as happy as a 'puppy with two peters' (city slickers anyone?)
The food was on point and i intend on going back to sample more but not all was perfection this time around. First off, the owner is a HOOOGE chicago fan, im talking Christ Farley 'superfan' huge. I think i may have gotten a dollar in my change that said 'in Ditka we trust'. Therefore, when yours truly wanted to watch the dolpins go at the Jag's, all I could see were 'DA Bears!' The service was also something to sneer at, as it took me at least 20 minutes from the time we sat to the time we ordered (from 2 different waitresses), and then another 20 to get the appitizers (note: Wings are legit, ergo - were eaten before pictured).
In the end, Fat Lous = 4.5/5 (loved the food and will go back... regardless of the 'waiting game')

Friday, December 11, 2009


In honor of the first night of Hannukah I decided to go somewhere 'super-specsh' for lunch on the way home from work. Good thing i was hungry since it was a long work day, it wasn't supposed to be... but there were waitresses from a certain ,restaurant that shall remain nameless which were great at diverting our attention for awhile. Thennn, there was a press screening i had to make, i wont ruin the surprise but rest assured the movie was friggin awesome! Will tell more later. Until then...
Can you say Deli Heaven? I dont know what it is, but i think a Deli is one of my favorite restaurants, not only is the food a 'mish-mosh' of dishes ranging from sandwiches to bagels to fish to tounge... but there is also ALWAYS a breakfast menu happening and always something new. In a way, going to "Roasters and Toasters" was a little like getting married...
(^Can you say legit home-y-ness?^)
Back to the matrimony...
Something Old: Buttermilk Pancakes! Anyplace that has pancakes available at 4 in the afternoon is someplace where I want to be. Especially when they are made from REAL ingredients and not that "just add water" stuff that I refuse to HOP to. Honestly, they were light and fluffy while simultaneously being filling. However, the saltiness was a bit stronger than i would like, but i thing thats a characteristic of a restaurant that specializes in corned meats. Something New: POTATO PANCAKES! Thats what the little nuggets of love are keeping the pancake company. Seriously, i have not had latkes in forever and im pretty sure I will wait until im back in NY to have them again. The flavor was not bad but i prefer my latke to be more like a pancake as opposed to a chicken nugget. However, dunked in a little applesauce and anyone will be doing the "Yiddish Muppet"

Something borrowed: Turkey Sandwich. Why is this borrowed? No idea, perhaps because there was so much Turkey on this bad boy that only half could be comfortably enjoyed in one sitting. For realsies, if anyone ever wondered how the Hebrew people walked through the desert for so long i think the answer is the size of their portions... this thing fueled me until like ten at night (at what time i may or may not have had the other two pancakes that came with the order I got at the Deli). The Sandwich was served straight up on wheat so you could have the freedom to dress it as you wish (totes appreciated), the turkey was a bit dry... but nothing a little mustard and light mayo didnt fix.
Couple the good food with a great atmosphere and a great waitstaff = a great dining experience. However, the opinion of the waitstaff is speculative since i got my order to go... but the lady that took the order and got me my food was funny and laughed at my jokes... ergo, i love her. The only thing keeping me from going back right now... a bit to pricey for my current cash flow, aka - non existent. This made me the something Blue :(
Roasters and Toasters 3.5/5

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Everybody's brother is up in the armored air.

So so so, it has been a while since a good movie review, eh? Granted, if I had my way this would not be the case... but my reviewing talents have been given to the Paul and Young Ron show at the moment and they have first dibbs. However, there are some days where that times get too hectic (with news and sport happenings, not to mention guests - more on that later) for a good movie review which means.......
PanClayke... AT THE MOVIES! Brothers:
Much like Maguire in this film i but my body through hell and back in order to see something I love and that is a movie with Natalie Portman (however, this love has gone by the wayside recently after a rip to 'Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium). This movie, however, was the slid-y thing on the Etch-A-Sketch in the sense that it erased all former offiliations with past roles these characters might have played. Maguire is no longer Peter Parker and Portman could not be farther away from Queen Amidalia. And, lets not forget the other boy in the band... who will be remembered, but not labeled, as one of the last people to sleep with Health Ledger.
Kidding aside, the performances in this film are powerful and genuine, the director really put some work into the acting and you can tell. It also refuses to fall into the political satire of the U.S's occupancy in the middle east, which is very pleasant. I just wanted to see a good movie and didnt need to be reminded of something i saw the night before last when Obama adressed the nation.
While the war itself may not be addressed, what does hit home is the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) a solider suffers after he/she is told/forced to kill another person and then throw back into mainstream life where the biggest problem we have to deal with the the poor HD quality on our flat screen T.V's
However, for those of you searching for a hanky in preperation for a tear jerker... dont worry as there is also a lot of light humor, expecially in the beginning. It is an ectremely interesting juxtaposition when paired next to the situation in the Middle East. i kid you not when you go into one scene smiling and leave the next wondering what the hell just happened. This evokes an extreme emotion from the audience and sets us up for something that will eventually make us all feel something we were not expecting.
That being said, this movie is not infallible. The story is great and the acting is stellar but there is soemthing to be said about 'playing it safe'. It reminds me of the contestants on Top Chef who refuse to cook Foie Gras because its more difficult in spite of the better flavor they would get for the dish in the end. There is so much room to push the envelope with this movie, so much potential that was not taken in order to not piss anyone off too much before the oscar nominations go out (in this critics opinion). Though you will walk out of the theater satisfied with your movie and totally getting your money's worth... the fact that they didnt push it will sour the critical viewer.
4.5/5 Pancakes (Iran, Iraq, I-Loved-It!)
I'm gonna write a letter to change the title to 'yourmored' as I do not wish to offiliate myself with this one. Seriously, i think the only thing that saved this one for me was that i walked out of 'Transylmania' to go see it (was going to review Transylmania, but the fact i walked out speaks for itself)
This story is also about a veteran finding it hard to deal with the day-to-day now that hes back in the states. Unlike brothers, though, this one focusses more on the financial aspect than the mental. Soldier boy is then up in these Hoe's... and by hoe, I mean an armored car that his friends on the job attempt to rob by way of 'the perfect scheme'. However, this scheme arises more questions than it wraps up and is shadowed only by the facade of an everyday joe taking a stand against five guys with scatter guns and enough desperation to want to rob an armored car. Seriously, i dont care how strong a sense of right you have... there needs to be a LOT more emotion behind making the decsion to oppose forces like these and even more when it comes to the decision to put the character there in the first place.
The cast, however, featured some favorites that we always like to see here at PanClayke. Matt Dillon, Cowboy Curtis (lawrence fishburne) and Peter Petrelli from Heroes. However, rather than spend upwards of $15 for a matinee and a soda i would say spend the money on a pizza, six pack and rent Hard Rain (aka... the more attractive cousin of Armored)
2/5 Pancakes

Apparently the title Everybody's Fine concerns the casts acting as well. Do not get me wrong... this is actually pretty ok movie and i would recommend it for adults who still like a date-night and/or children who like to see their parents get choked up. The cast is very nice and easy on the eyes but with the exception of DeNiro the chaacterization is a bit sub-paar. DeNiro even goes as far as to break out of his persona of Paul Vitti and hits home with a widower who is unbeknownst of what is going on in his childrens lives. The ending is also something of a nice little surprise unless your an avid movie-goer and know the few formulas that hollywood is using right now when it comes to the 'reveal' at the end of a movie.

The low points in this movie lie in the supporting roles and how they all lack a background. They are nice to watch and serve their purposes to propel DeNiro thorough is journey but, again, they are pretty one dimensional and are called to be so much more than that. Its hard to pinpoint the cause, whether it is directing or writing, but it was still a good movie all in all. If i had to choose between this and Brothers... the latter wins everyday of the week and twice on Sunday.

3/5 Pancakes

Last, but not least, we have the third installment of the recent Clooney Trilogy. Someone has definitely been pushing as we near the oscar season and i am happy to say he definitely gets a hit with this one. After the 'eh' feelings after 'the men who stare at goats' i found this movie to be witty, original and generally well done.
Im gonna sum it up like this, if you liked Juno, Thank you for Smoking, Whip It, basically any movie thats got witty bantar and finds the humor in the intense normalicy of life then you will dig this movie. Clooney is not only awesome at being rather than playing a part but the classic look that we fall in love with time and time again is alive and well. The supporting roles are also someting to write home about with each one having specific moments to recant and quote as you walk out of the theater. At the same time, when you are walking out your going to be happy with the ending. Not gonna give anything away but there are definitely a couple WTF moments that will leave you happy you saw this one. Yet, the quoteage was the main star of the show for this critic (one favorite: "Think of me as yourself... just with a vagina). All in all it was a good way to spend the evening and you will not regret paying for this one.
The only let-down in this one was that there were a couple of moments that tended to drag, but that comes to be expected when your making a movie based strongly on the day-to-day rather than holding up in an armored car (again, do not see Armored).
4/5 Pancakes
To sum up, when your choosing your movie, if your looking t laugh see Up in the Air and go see Brothers if the tear ducts havent been used properly in a while.
Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, there you have it. Tune in next time for more reviews (restaurant and film) not to mention a training update for the upcomming Titan burger. Until then this is PanClayke reminding you that the director of Armored has the first name 'Nimrod'. I thought i would make sure we all made note of that.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Snack be Nimble, Snack be Quick

Quickies burgers that is.
As I am working to sample the wide varieties of cuisine in the South Florida area a fellow Food Blogger, who I MET during said lunching, recommended. Oh bloggers, is there anything they can not share with us?
This time around we find ourselves at Quickies Burgers and Wings. A Quaint little sit down/drive thru restaurant that is miles ahead of the competition. Even though, technically, this is fast food... that guy running with the burger is the new once and future king. There are not only burgers here, were talking: wings, homemade sauces, seasoned fries and a milkshake to be named later. Not only that, but the staff has a smile on its face from the minute you walk in the door.... and the burgers, well - JOYYYYY!
First things first, the wait for the burgers suggest nothing more than a homemade feel. Your order is taken and the food is brought to your table about 10 minutes later. Why was i not annoyed by this? Because the burgers are just that... burgers, aka real food and not a McBurgerlike-substance. Then they go above and beyond by topping the tender patty with the spice of the house sauce (they wouldnt tell me but im guessing seasoning salt and some chipotle) and the crunch of some french fried onions.
The fries were spot on as well, as far as fries go. hand cut and not greasy.
Quickies receives = 4.5/5 burgers
This will most likely be a perfect score when i get a chance to try the wings, but I plan on going back... both for the wings aaaaand,

The Titan Challenge!

Some have called me crazy, and iI say... Crazy like a fox! On Dec. 19th i will be taking on the 4lb titan burger which has defeated all who have opposed it. Until now, just call me Zeus!

I have already started training by hitting the gym 3-4 times a week to increase my metabolism and also drinking at least a gallon of water in addition to the normal intake in order to stretch out the stomach. I am also still working to raise money for Feeding South Florida and will be using the sheer spectacle of the challenge to raise money which will all go to FSF. Quickies is also using the event in support of their toy drive - benefitting the local childrens hospital, "Joe DiMaggio".

Well, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. Tune in next time for a training update and some more reviews on the wonderment of South Florida cuisine. Until next time this is PanClayke reminding you that there is never a bad time for a quickie in the afternoon.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Review - Original Pancake House

Sunday morning has always been a time for the family meal for yours truly. In fact, a memory came to mind this morning of my mother taking my sister and I to a 'Chinese' Buffet after church when we were young. Granted, it was more American than Chinese food, but the memories and the company were the real stars of the show... that, and this crispy dough thing with sugar on it. Funnel Cake anyone?
So, yesterday when my Pop-Cake reminded me that I would be the man of the house as he traveled to Orlando on business I had a couple flashes of sadness. Im not a daddy's-boy by any means... im a mama's boy through and through... but we DO have a weekend ritual of going to the movies and sneaking in our own food. *sigh* its the simple things.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, since we were going to miss out cinematic adventure I suggested the Sunday Brunch/Breakfast. Imagine my surprise when they not only agreed... but had the greatest suggestion of all time!
ORIGINAL PANCAKE HOUSEDad = Happy/awesome. Mom = Not as high as she appears (theres a lag on the camera)
Now, as with any breakfast place in America, the line at th door almost scared us back to the car. It was out the door and then some, but we were pleasantly surprised when the hostess sat us in 15 minutes! The waiter carried the torch with speedy service and a smile that would not quit. I also only saw the bottom of my coffee mug twice and those of you that know my coffee addiction know how amazing that is.
As per the menu, its pretty standard breakfast fare. Eggs, toast, REAL jelly, fresh home fries, sausage and PANCAKES. There were a lot of varieties too: buttermilk, wheat germ, buckwheat, sourdough, pumpkin and granola to name a few. There were also some more exotic dishes like breakfast burritos, waffles, blintzes and crepes filled with who-knows-what. Our table ended up with a full array of all the usual suspects.

Also, those of you familiar with Bob Evans will know what i mean when i say: "Thick, peppery bacon." Well; Thick-peppery-bacon was defintley one of the front runners this morning. Mom-cake ordered it and panclayke may have taken a piece (or five).

However, as good as the food/service/company were the TRUE reason people go to the Original Pancake House is the 'Pancakes from Around the World". They have brealfast fare hardly seen anywhere outside of Germany and Finland where these wonderous dishes were first served and consumed. Yours truly could not live with himself unless he hopped a plane to the Netherlands and had a little Apple Baby!

Have I mentioned im moving to the Netherlands and converting to Cannibalism? Honestly, all apple babies better start sleeping with one eye open!

So there are obviously a slew of reasons to get out to your Original Pancake House but are there any reasons why you should opt to stay home? Other than the ringing of the door as the new people came in (we were sitting RIGHT next to the entrance = irk!) and the crowding that rivaled a chinese orphanage there weren't really any to write home about. The food was fresh and the feeling of the restaurant just promoted a aura of happy... is there anything pancakes can't do.

Original Pancake House: 5/5 cakes

*note= the special pancakes and the omelettes ARE cooked to order! This makes the diner happy since they are actually cooking as opposed to re-hydrating their food. However, order a peice of toast or two for the wait to avoid the 'hanger pangs'

Till next time, this is Panclayke, reminding you that eggs are babies too... let the baby-slaughter begin!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Good evening all, i hope your Thanksgiving was as awesome and as full of food as mine was! Im not gonna lie, there was definnitely some extreme fullness happening. I guess im just one of those people that graze on a bit of everything... unfortunately, there was a lot of dishes that were brought. So, after a 2 day nap, there was only one thing to do and that was to update all the wonderful people out in the land of Blog.

So, i know your all on pins and needles about my last post making the declaration to enjoy the festivites to their fullest. I know what your thinking... "You need to remind yourself to enjoy a holiday? (weeeirdoooooo...)" You would be right about that one, i am a weirdo but one that is set on changing. That being said i think its time to throw the honestly party of the year and confess that i DO have issues with food. Those of you that have been here for a while have probably already caught on to this but i do not think i have ever come right out and said it. In a nutshell, i was an overweight kid and always considered my weight the reason I didnt have a lot of friends growing up. Looking back, i know that the reasons were anything but weight related... but try telling a chubby kid that. So... leave that a few years to marinate and one develops food/weight issues which led yours truly to a point that he would rather not go too far into. Lets jest say it got to a point where i had to take a 'mandatory sabbatical' from my job at Starbucks, there was a therapist involved and even...... the shun of Pancakes!

I know, i know... the tissues are behind you. Go ahead and grab a few... now blow. Good.

But, as Rafiki once said: It doesnt matter... its in the past. Oh man, the 'Lion King' is friggin awesome, is it not? Life lessons AND good animation. This actually became somewhat of a mantra as i walked into Thankgiving. Working to keep the ticks at bay and to take what i wanted, not what was 'good' or 'bad'. The result... a day full of fried turkey, broccoli casserole, grandmas yams (want to run a TRAIN on these) and even some Pumpkin Pie and some of the best Flan i have ever tasted... plus many, many, more. I was full, but i was happy and i walked away thankful to God for the gifts we had received and the wonderful family He blessed me with. All in all, it was an awesome Thanksgiving and I would not wish it any other way.

Not only that... but there were LEFTOVERS <----- best part! However, there was not enough turkey for the families liking so we hit up the farmers market and got a breast for roasting. A turkey sandwich may make an appearance later in the week coupled with the 'splaining of how to make the perrrrrrfect leftover sangwich (years of study cant be wrong). There was also some more cranberry sauce made and......... A PIE!

OR, a cheesecake. Whatever, either way its awesome, healthy and half gone. I may or may not be running a train on this dessert. But... if you have to have a guilty plesure the Enlightend Pumpkin Cheezcake isn't a bad way to go. I subbed silken tofu for one of the bricks of cream cheese for some added protein and i used pre-made crust because my mother did not know what kind we needed... next time i make this i want to use Nilla Wafers cause im from the south and we put them on everything. I will be adding more more brown sugar next time... but, other than that, this is a wonderful little dessert thats nice when your craving something Pumpkin-y.

As if baking is not awesome enough there was some SWAGGGG accumulated over the break that i will go into later (im sure i have bored you enough already). Until then i will leave you with a little warning I saw at the beach after i had breakfast the other day that made me laugh... since i had chosen to NOT have oatmeal that morning.
How do you like that one Mitri?

Also, still on a high from the Terminator Success! I am now taking down another food challenge that has daunted South Florida for far too long. Will update more later on so be ready.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. Tune in next time for an update on the SWAG and the 'Challenge' not to mention a restaurant review or two. Until then, this is PanClayke, reminding you that when you fry a turkey on high heat it creates a sear that keeps the bird from getting greasy but keeping it moist. haha, i said moist.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Post from the berry

I'm doing this one from the blackberry, apologies for the shortness.

I just wanted to wish all a Happy Thanksgiving, i will do the obligitory 'thankful' post later on... but i wanted to get out at least one sentiment before I chow on some bird.

Speaking of, the second thing is a wish to ENJOY AND BE THANKFUL! I'll go into this more later as well. For now, i plan on thanking God for my extended family in the land of blog and diving into a massive spread. Im a little anxious but im going to enjoy EVERYTHING! From the sugar-y yams, fatty- creamy cheesecakes and fried turkey. I'm actually shifty thinking about it but know its going to be a good, no... a GREAT day.

What am I saying? Tune in next time to see why.

Until next time this is PanClayke, reminding you that if you buy one Blackberry you get another of equal or lesser value for free. Thank YOU Verizon!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

No Turkey for Panclayke!

My apologies friends. I meant to regale you with my 'Turkey Donation Stories' but things dont turn out like we plan all the time, as im sure we all know. You see, the open mic night had the prize of a Turkey which i was going to donate to the Daily Bread Food Bank, but the judges of the Open Mic did not see fit to award me the turkey. I guess that was due to the turkey being a prize given to the 'least favorite performer of the night'. Instead, they saw fit to award me with the GRAND FRIGGIN PRIZE of opening for a future comedian at the Improv!!!! Im happier than a mecrophiliac in a mortuary right now, if im not being too subtle.

So theres the good news, The bad news, however, is that i do not have a new 'rideo' to post for all you wonderments as of yet. This has been a busy movie week (4!), speaking of which i have to head out and cheer on for Team Edward! However, since i have been gone awhile and sm still looking to raise money through the Clicking Canpaign , im going to leave you with the video of my Open Mic Stand up! Forgive the shaking... but the laughter created somewhat of an earthquake effect.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. Tune in next week for the next eating challenge and more pancakery! Until then, this is PanClayke, reminding you that, when it comes to pancakes, it is impossible to not have a 'Culinary Boner'.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Jonesing for a Cookie

So, the other day i was thinking about some treatage. I have always been a fan of muffins and i think my momma makes some of the best nanner bread in the world. So, after some deliberation and a trip to whole foods i was on the hint for some sweeties but nothing was tickling the facny... until i saw the cookie section. This was strange because i NEVER jones for a cookie, unbeknownst to myself as to why. Either way i took a chance and bought an oatmeal carob raisin cookie. OMG, how have i never been jumping all over these my entire life?!?! This one was warm too which was even bettah!!!!! Im not gonna lie, i may have not been able to hold off for the entire two miles back to my house. There was a red light and screw you for juding me.
It was then i knew why i never really crave a cookie. I believe that sweets and treats are no longer something special. There was once a time when the family getting in the car and going out to ice cream was a total special thing. This made the ice cream something special as it didnt happen all the time, coincidently the company was pretty much awesome.
Now, when you walk through the grocery store you see mountains of cookies and gallon ice cream by the gallon (its late and my gift of gab is fading a bit). The reason i never really crave sweets, i believe, is that i grew up on them. They are almost the norm, but rest assured that after you realize how special a cookie is from whole foods.... you totally will crave one every now and again!
Yes, this was immature and a little ramble-sive... but I wanted to let you guys know what was going on in the life of Panclayke for a couple days while he is gone. See, im gonna stretch my funny bones and perform at an open mic night at the Ft. Lauderdale improv on tuesday. Needless to say this is a big deal and there will not be a lot of time where i will not have my nose buried in my notebook pondering over what flavor soup is the funniest. Not only that, but there is a prize of a chicken dinner! which i plan to donate to a needy family via the Daily Bread Food Bank . Nervous, oh yeah. Hopefully my humor can transer to those NOT in the blog-world. I will let you all know how it goes and will give you a full report the milli-sec im back to reality (whoops, there goes gravity)

Well, ladies and gentleman there you have it. Tune in next time for an update of the Turkey... and the prize for the open mic night (im the turkey, get it?). Until then, this is PanClayke reminding you that a cookie is just a pancake to a midget.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Party, Pauly, Pancakes!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA YYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU GGGGGUUUUUYYYYYSSSSS! The Goonies friggin rock, no questions asked. However, this movie was not gracing my sights this weekend as I am making plans to hold a little marathon for myself. So far the Set-List contatins: House (season 5), Up!, Flight of the Conchords (Season 2), The Hurt Locker and The Taking of Pelham 123. Man... thank goodness i've already been to the gym this weekend.
LOOK-IT! The last time i had Egg-Nog was in Freshman Year of high school when a friend invited me to their annual Holiday get together and i had never tried it before. Have to say... i liked it. How much? Well, lets just say there was a quart of it that i choose to carry about the house like it was a mug of Grog and i was dining in the Halls of King Arthur! Sword and the Stone friggin Rocks, no questions asked. Anyhoo, even though IHOP already got to them before i had a time to make a batch... there was only one thing to do with the wonder of Silk Nog
IHOP can suck it!!!!
Just so you know, the little one with the bites taken out of it? Yeah, i like to see one of you get through making a batch of Nog-Cakes without nibbling on somehing. Plus you have to test the griddle so - "This just in... the pigeon brothers have been killed. Authorities have found the weapon to be a single stone."
How were they? Well, lets just say that if the Terminator tasted like these... it would have been a LOT easlier to eat.

So, yesterday was friday the 13th, it was also my mom's birthday. I would like to take a moment of silence to appreciate this coincidence.

So, to celebrate, the family drove down to Coral Gables and had the most delicious dining experience in the friggin universe! Hole in the wall restaurant with a grandma cooking in the back room? Negative. We went...
Yes, its a chain and you can find like three in every mall in America. But you know what... they know how to make some cheesecake! Possibly of the Banana-Nut variety and garnished with banana slices and real whipped cream which was eventually licked off the index finger of yours truly. More about this in a sec, first i must hum a song in the tune of 'joy'.

After dinner the fun continued and we saw
the one
the only

We laughed, we cried, then we laughed some more! All in all it was one of the better birthdays i can remember celebrating with my mother. The worst? Definitely when I lost my glasses and we had to go to the mall and buy a new pair. Not to mention the mall was a ghost town since it was after daycare and the stores were closing. Happy Birthday Mommy!

Okay, so earlier in the post and the other day i made a couple additions to my diet that weren't vegan. Why put yourself through this/How could you do that!, you ask? Well, long-time readers have seen my need for balance and I feel that when i went vegan cold turkey it was in a place that was, for lack of a better word, not. Therefore, in light of Truth Week i decided to do some reflecting and decided that i did not switch to veganism for the right reasons. I chose to do it so i could set boundaries for myself, limit what i could and couldn't have. Take a certain amount of control over my life by what i do/do not eat. Sounds crazy, but this is the mindset of the dieter and it is where my mind has been for awhile now; which, ironically enough, is the farthest thing from healthy I know of. Therefore... i have decided to take a page out of Sarah and Holly's books and make peace with food. Choose NOT to define myself by whats on my plate but rather what is on/in my heart. My drive to help others and to simply live. Granted, I love eating natural and whole foods and will continue to do so because I truly do want to. But i will no longer set boundaries because they dont work. As of now people at work have been calling me the 'part time vegan' or the 'artist formerly known as vegan'... I would rather be referred to as Clay (panClayke for long).

Lastly, as just mentioned, I have a drive to help other and am working to help the Daily Bread Food Bank , and have discovered an awesome opportunity to raise money for them. Not only is there a donation button at the tippy-top-o-da-blog, but i am have recently become a featured publisher on Foodbuzz (you can see the badge above the donation button) and, in turn, get a little money from foodbuz for every click on the pages of my site. Basically, its the same thing that my Chocolate Covered Princess
, which i thought was a pretty good idea. What does this mean for you? Well, it means more: Rideos, pan-creations and general musings altogether. All in all, there is going to be more for you all and, in turn, more for those in need. So... Click Away true friends, click and smile.

Well ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. Tune in next week for more Pan-creations, and a Promised Rideo (I already know what the subject is). Until next time, this is PanClayke, reminding you that IHOP can suck it... Bud-dy.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Your Terminated F#@*ER!

First things first, i must apologize for my absence. Things have been busy, and this time... that is totes a good thing. the radio-time, the movies iv'e seen and the new people ive met have just gotten better and better. I definitley feel like the luckiest little girl at the ball (metaphorically speaking... i am very much a boy at the ball.) Sadly, though, there has been so much awesomeness happening recently that it cannot all fit in one post so im gonna put some highlights up for the moment and hit then make like Pat Benetar and hit you with my best shot.

First off, remember the Terminator?


Yes, i am now the first person EVER to take down th biggest pancake breakfast in S. Florida. Granted, im pretty sure the agony of my tumbly was revenge enough for the Terminator, but such is the price of glory. Now granted, this is TOTES not vegan, in fact i think its the exact opposite... but that topic is going to delve into a whole other realm of things so i think im going to save that for the next post. Just, be forewarned, it will most likely be long-winded and highly introspective..... read at your own risk.

Also, another first on Panclayke... VIDEO REVIEWS. You see, there are a whole bunch of culinary wonders about S. Florida which i have yet to discover and feel deprived as a result. I mean, im talking places that even Guy Fieri forgot to visit when he was down here. Now THAT is messed up. Plus, i feel a bit boxed in cooking for myself all the time (especially since i can REALLY only make pancakes). Ergo, I decided to do my own little culinary findings and bring them to the masses. Let me know what you think and enjoy the first.... 'Rideo'!

Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, there you have it. Tune in next time for yet another pan-creation and perhaps another Rideo. I cant give too much away but i think there may be something about egg nog and a fun thing to do with oats. Until then, this is PanClayke reminding you that no dogs were harmed in the making of this 'Rideo'.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

I want a Mexican.... 'Rideo"! (FAIL!)

First of all, please let me apologize for the lack of color on the plate here. I know you eat with your eyes first and right now it seems as though i served you a plate of burnt frnech fries. Ill explain at the end the reason for the lack of color... but for now, here is what has been going on in the brief stint iv'e been gone.

I told you it was coming... well, let it be known that PanClayke is nothing if not a man of his word. First off, the question on everones lips... The Final Hour was tiring beyond all reason and more taxing than, well.... taxes. Friday night alone we were all there from 6-2 in the morning and did the scene over 100 times for groups of 25 people at a time. Needless to say... by the time two o'clock rolled around yours truly was ready to go to sleeeeeeeeep (and renounce his faith for Taoism, but thats besides the point). However, with one more night there was nothing to it but to do it, and we even ended up getting out early, getting a lot of complements on what we had accomplished and let a lot of people to Christ who would not have normally attended a church service. Also, i let the people who were providing food for the event what the term 'vegan' means... i was actually offered a chik-fil-a sangwich and told to eat the bread and throw the meat. MMMMMMM, bread. I almost feel like im taking advantage of you all! Luckily, Subway was across the street ready to dish out the veggie D-lights, and a hand of bananas isnt too expensive. That... and Rockstar energy drinks were four for five at Publix this week (WINNER!). All in all, if i had the choice, would i do it the same way again? Mayyyyybe not the entire run of the event, but i would definitley help out.

Next up, there has been a HOOOOGE movement on the 'career-front'. Many of you loyal followers have noticed the movie reviews that litter the blog, well... i am happy to say that these are going to start being more mainsream. Yes, i am now reviewing movies on a local radio station... LIVE! (and the crowd goes wild). Will this mean that some movie-love will not end up on here? In some way, yes... but - plan on new DVD reviews along with some CD's!(Starting with Michael Buble:Crazy Love, and 'Food Inc.').

Last, but not least, The Terminator is so getting taken down this Sunday. The team is assembling nicely (Grandma is staying home) and we are confident as only 20 yr old guys can be. I may even just wear my Superman Cape... Im not sure. That being said... make sure to stop by the Daily Bread Food Bank and se what you can do to help. Recently there was a meeting with Pizza Rustica (a miami-based pizza chain) about making a donation in response to me creating a scene by eating a big pizza. Gee, let me think... I raise money by eating some awesome pizza. Im sorry, I think I just felt the lift side of my body go numb. Very Excited about raising the money and thinking i should get Pepto to endorse me until then. Speaking of giving during the holidays, my girl Katie is raising money for 'Africards' and 'Project Pillows' and helping to raise money could not be easier. All you have to do it go look at her page, THATS IT! She is an awesome writer and has a buttload of awesome/healthy recipes (may or may not involve chocolate) that im sure you will love and make in the future. Enjoy her site and thank you for all the help.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. I apologize, as i meant for this post to contain my first video review of my Sout Florida Restaurant Tour... but the uploading is not being my friend at the moment. Tune in next timefor more creations tomfoolery (not to mention, immaturity) and hopefully... a video review.Until next time, this is PanClayke reminding you that punctuationandspaceingoutwordsisoverrated.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Pair-of-waffles Activity

See what I did there?Here at Panclayke we enjoy a good scary movie. However, there is something to say about the differences between something 'scary', 'frightening' and 'disturbing'. Not sure what i mean by this? To put it simply...
  • Saw - Scary (plot that could happen and you really hope doesnt)
  • House of Wax - Frightening (horrible movie that relies on things jumping out at you in order to try and scare you. Pretty much most scary movies in the last 5 years)
  • Paranormal Activity - Disturbing (something that is real and evokes a memory or something you have gone through that makes you spill your Reeses Peecies all over the floor)
This movie was definitley disturbing. And yes... i have seen a ghost before. Setting the stage: Freshman year of college in the dormitory communal bathroom - had some Chinese Buffet that was looking to make an 'encore' at three in the morning. Needless to say, yours truly definitley had some tunnel vision happening. Going past the shower stalls it was a quick right turn until i found what i sought. All of a sudden someone flung open one of the shower curtains like they were looking to hit me in the face for calling their mother a whore. I didnt care who was so mad at me, i was on a mission. After everything was situated and it was time to taea breather (cautiously) i noticed, i never heard a door close - i never heard footsteps - not even the light scraping of a towel across a freshly washed body. GHOST!!!!!!!
Yeah, i saw me a ghost. This might even need to inspire a pancake (something with raisin eyes, yeah). Anyway, back to the movie. While the camera work is a bit shakey due to the handycam-look, much to the tune of Cloverfield and the Blair Witch. The story centers around a couple who have recently moved into a new house together and discover a 'disturbance' that the girlfriend has apparently gone through before. Right off the bat the audience recognizes a plot like this one (something is following the girrrrrrllllll, howl). However, what makes this movie different are two things. The first is the role of the boyfriend and his insatiable need to protect her which does nothing more than to anger the spirits within. The second are the nuances concerning the haunting. There is nothing really jumping out at you, just looking for a cheap thrill. This is a movie that gets you concentrating and opens your senses looking for something, this openness makes something as simple as a door swinging scary... this isnt to say that there arent a couple WHOA-ments (<-- playin with words!) but these are not all this movie has to offer. In the end, we at panclayke give Paranormal Activity 3.7/5 quija boards. It will definitely be rented when there is a pizza party at the casa, but will not be bought for general use.
There is also....
Van's Waffles... from the Freezer! Freezer waffles are back in action after a reputation set by the eggo company placed the waffle in the same realm as ice cream. I guess since they share a room then they must also be the same thing. NEWS FLASH! Go and get these and reclaim your breakfast! These are not only organic but are also VEGAN! This was definitely a plus, not to mention the crispyness that comes on these guys right out of the toaster (setting 6 to those of you with a black and decker). Will i be buying these again. Well, with variations like: Blueberry, belgian, gluten free and homestyle... i would have to be crazy not to. Not to mention that the make me happyyyy

OOOOOOOOOO, whos a happy boy?!!?

Well folks, i regret to say that i will be MIA for a couple of days as there is going to be A LOT of shtuff going on soon. Add together the Morning show, promotions department and the final hour all backpacking on the other one for the next three days and you have the recipe for a menaje tois of pain. Needless to say.... im heading out to Publix tomorrow and picking up some red bulls and 5 hour energies.

However, before i head out i want to remind you all to support the Daily Bread Food Bank... i actually thought of another way to make this happen. As you all know, I have attempted the terminator with less than perfect results. So i purpose a wager. A bet, of you will, to see if I will be able to take it down or not. If not, then i will apologize and make a huge donation (i was gonna anyway but just thought i would make it seem more noble just then) BUT, when that last bite is taken... perhaps a dollar to the Daily Bread. No pressure ya'll, just really passionate about this cause.

Well folks, that is all for now. Tune in next time for a new pancake and new life-enings. Until then, this is PanClayke reminding you that a Quija board will only make the demon mad.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Consumption Junction..... what-your-function?

- would you like a.... ba-nana or berry?

Berry... Blue, that is.

Sadly my friends this is going to be another short-ski as I must embark from the casa soon. I also suspect i am a bit more tired than usual cause I have an 'aura' about me that I dont approve of. I mean, I showered and everything but there is still something. It got to the point where I needed to distract myself with some light cakerey... but could not bring myself to attempt the new cre-cake-tion I have recently been contemplating... more on that one later. Instead, today was the oldie but goodie..... Whole Wheat With Bloobs.

As i was flipping and happy about how these were turning out i asked myself why 'add-ins' are so popular in the cake world. Then i recalled an old phrase... 'variety is the spice of life'. Granted, there was cinnamon in the batter, but.... well, you catch my drift. And honestly, the textural variety that the bloobs give the pancake are perfect. Each one was like a mini explosion of anti-awesome-dants (i am so the wordsmith today!). Speaking of which... a new word was invented in between the 'yums' today.

Bloo-gasm: (n) the small explosion of flavor occuring when a blueberry is bitten into when used as an ingredient to employ a texural variation.

(i sent an Email to webster... im hopeful to hear something soon).

Okay y'all, i gotta make like a baby and head out. I apologize for the quickness and for being to verbose (...if I had a nickel). Tune in next time for a new feature, new pancake, and new attitude! Until then, this is PanClayke reminding you that the suffix -gasm makes any word ten times better.

Friday, October 23, 2009

I better have a seat saved..

Just to let you know how important you all are to me, i had to sneak in a little post-ski before work. Just two things... then maybe a bigger one when i get home (thats what she said)

First: Dont forget to donate to Daily Bread food bank! The link is right there, dont you just wanna give it a click?


I dont know if i mentioned how im helping out with this or not, its a haunted house experience that my church has been doing. ITs been good, the goal is to spread the gospel and get people saved... and last night alone something like 2,000 people came! Praise be to God!

The Catch... sitting on a tire, outside, in the rain, until 2 in the morning. Then... they walk by and try to lift our spirits with promises of pizza today before the show starts. AWESOME, oh wait.... nevermind (veganism much?). However, the bible does say to find joy in the hardships for they are, in the end, bringing glory to God. I have never prayed harder that this will be my focus. Until then, i just need to take it easy and rest up... Panclayke - sleep = Angrypants McGoof.

I think i might just have to have a massive burrito beofre the thing tonight. Review of the best burritio ever to follow~

*UPDATE*= So, there is some time now for a more proper Panclayke update... but nowhere near enough to leave me satisfied. Like, when you leave a restaurant having payed too much money for too little food. Speaking of which...

The East Coast Burrito factory almost made up for all the 'stoggie' tex-mex food ive have since ive been home to Florida. While we have the best cuban sandwiches for miles... the burritos leave something to be desired and the breakfast tacos are non existent. However, this took those bad boys to the bank and made me remember what i love about the burrito. Tortilla love. And honestly... bang for your buck much? This thing was the size of a human baby and weighed about the same (im guessing about 2-3 lbs!). Sadly, i got caught up in a conversation before the run of the Final Hour and before i knew it someone had eaten the entire thing. I dont know that happened! Howevsies... I am not a little more prepped to take down the Terminator again... considering I pretty much ate a human child and didnt even know it (well, not REALLY a baby but... well, you get the picture). And honestly, with loads of vegetarian and a few vegan options as well... the East Coast Burrtio Factory is definitely going to be a repeat on the blog. We, at panclayke, give it 4.5/5 pads of butter.

Update on Final Hour - God's will and not my own... that is the mantra that i hav been repeating as i sit on a tired at two in the morning doing a 2 minute scene for the 100th time. Sounds fun? Well, what if i added the rainstorms of late and the fact that we are outside to the equation? You wanna help out right now dont you? But again, God's will be done. I DO know that tons of people have been showing up and a number of people have received God's love and gotten saved. There is a part of me that says this is not important... but the 'correct' thinking dictates this as the most noble job on earth. Four days and the rest of my life, thats all. But like I said... i better have a seat saved.

That's all for now Meine Lieblings! Tune in next time for a new pan-creation and a dedication to the strongest of the strong! Until then, this is PanClayke reminding you to that you are what you eat... and apparently I am 14 inches long and weigh 2.5 lbs (HELLO!).

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Because it made me smile.

In surfing the web i have come across many things.
  • grapefruit diet

  • total body cleanse

  • the 'obey' rule to get flat abs

  • cosmetic surgeon websites

  • online calorie counterd

  • online support groups

  • facebook

  • Bo Burnham

All these things are good and they serve a purpose... but for the most part do not make people smile. In fact, has anyone else noticed were normally stressed when we log on to google? I think this is because we are searching for something and are frustrated since we have NO CLUE what it is. I mean, if we did then we would not be on the internet looking for it. Because, looking for it means that we dont have it, ergo---

literally, my eyes just crossed..

Anyhoo... once in a blue moon my travels lead me to something that peels back the lips like a ripe 'naner and exposes the 32 pearly chicklets the world needs more of. Today was such a day when i stumbed upon this. You see, being overweight did teach me one thing. You are a lot happier, albiet... not always healthier. I never knew why, but there were some days where i could not keep the smile from my face and others where making the peeps around me ROFL was commonplace. I couldnt run a mile to save my life though, which is apparently all that matters in high school.

What am I saying... what am I saying... hold on, let me 'google' it. OH YEAH. Society is warped, based A LOT around the outside. Dont get me wrong... i can be as shallow as the next guy, but if there is a cricket in my jolly rancher wrapper.. i dont care how pretty the wrapper is cause I am not going to eat a friggin cricket. Unless its Jiminey, in which case i will throw the Kaibash down on that sephlopod. But yes, the outside shouldn't matter... but, sadly, it does in modern society. The solution is, what i shall call: THE PERFECT LIFESTYLE! Just follow these easy steps and you will have the best life there is.

  • Know that you are not your own- we belong to God and He is in control. It may be scary to think we are 'powerless' but i trust Him a lot more than myself.

  • Get out on occasion- show the world your awesomeness! I have never been to the louve so i have yet to see the Mona Lisa. Even if one is in france they have to wait in line and be bored... then theyre in a bad mood and don't appreciate it as much. But, if the lady was in a public square of some kind then there would be a much greater ease to see her... which is why DaVinci did it in the first place.

  • Be a Hero - exercise is a good thing, but not if you dont enjoy it! I like to be superman so i like to strength train... but i dont run because it sucks worse than a recently un-clogged toilet. Therefore, find whats fun and train to do it. Also, take advice from 'Whip It" and be your OWN hero. i.e.=find a role madel and aspire from there.

  • Pretend its your grandma - Were you about to NOT hold the door for that lady? Were you about to cut that guy off on the interstate? What if that was Nonna?

  • Be Confident - there is one scene in the Neverending Story where Atreyu is walking through the gate to get to the Southern Oracle (dont ask me why he's walking... I KNOW THE FLYING DRAGON IT RIGHT THERE!) and the trip is pretty problem free... until he starts to doubt himself. Then he almost gets zapped by freaky eye lasers from a sphinx with an awesome rack! The lesson... when you are confident that you are the best you can be... nobody can touch you. Not even with eye lasers.

Well, there you have it, the prefect plan. follow it until you die and let me know what happens. Wow... that was morbid and unecessary, in return i will close with some humor...

People Who Are Overweight: Ben Franklin, Pope Benedict XVII, John Candy, Reuben Studdard, John Adams, Gerald Ford, Henry Ford, Hurley: from Lost and Stanley: from The Office. Oprah, Horatio Sanz, Drew Carey (just donated 50 grand to Feeding South Florida) Ben AND Jerry, Aretha Franklin and Aaron Neville, Christopher Columbus, Socrates, King Arthur and everyboy's father.

People Who are 'Slender': Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Carrot Top, Lucifer, Osama Bin Laden, Lex Luthor, Napoleon, Kim Jong Il, Benito Mussolini, Count Dracula, Lex Luthor, Attila the Hun, Ted Bundy, Mary: Queen of the Scots and Ryan Seacreast.

Well my Peeps, there you have it. I hope, at the very least, a smile was cracked and the world was made a little lighter. Please remember to spread the word about Feeding South Florida as well! Until next time, this is Panclayke reminding you that TOP CHEF RESTAURANT WARS IS TONIGHT!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


Being a dieter and a vegan have made me realize the importance of label checking. Who knew that nearly every 'vegetarian' product is nowhere near vegan. Well, regardless... ill tell you who knows now.

OOOOOOO! Before i get to deep into the black hole of my mind allow me to let the flight attendant direct you to the link to the right ---->. Yes, yours truly is going to put the 'NO' in November when he takes down the Terminator... once and for all. Be prepared for a video that will make you laugh, cry, hurl, pass out, laugh again and leave you wanting peanuts for some reason.

Okay... back to labels. The are nowhere near as helpful as people wish they were, in my opinion. Yes, they are great in respect of telling what the ingredients are in foods. Heaven knows that there are enough allergies and intolerances in the world today without people needing to constantly worry about weather or not their bread contains something that will make them sick.
On the other hand.... there is an aspect of obsession. Horrible, nagging, thought-clouding and mind numbing obsession. I remember spending 2 hours in the grocery aisles looking at the differences between THIS bread and THAT bread. "Which has more protein. Whats the serving size? Is there enough fiber in this one?" Yeah... im a freak, or at least was. The only thing is you fail to see yourself in that way since the realm of thinking is: "They put the labels there, i HAVE to check them." This way of 'healthful thinking' would result in me spending 5-10 minutes looking at a label having an inner debate about whether or not i should eat something... later on, it evolved into weighing out apples and oranges and making sure the lighter ones were what i went with. And, sad but true, there was even a period where the food scale would come out and weight/measure bagged salad. Friggin iceberg lettuce down to the exact ounce. Good Lord, just saying it makes me wonder how something like that can be thought of as 'healthy'.
If your still hanging around, then mad props to you. Like i said here i feel the need to be more personal throughout the Panclayke-sphere... maybe to my detriment, but only time will tell. That being said, i dont think there is anything more personal than the contents of ones fridge/pantry.

Yeah... remember how i mentioned how labels suck? The tupperware is definitely insane, mostly homemade hummus but still. This leads me to my next challenge.... THE PANTRY CHALLENGE! Cleaning out the pantry the only way I know how... by eating it! (There is gonna be a LOT of hummus sandwiches) Now, there is still going to be trips to publix/whole foods for fresh things (fruit, bread, veggies, etc), but no other food will be coming in the house until the tomb is empty. Why do it... that brings me to my next point...

Okay, so ive been eating vegan for a while now. This, i find, works well since apples and sweet potatoes dont come with a nutrition label. I've learned to appreciate fresh food and respect it at the same time. Even though the tomatos on the vine didnt have a 'personality', there is still the inkling that it is helping me be better by nourishing me. Ergo... when said tomato goes bad i always feel guilty... almost ungrateful and disrepectful (i am SUPER-sensitive... hey, i have a super power!). There is also a more real guilt to be had... in the sense that many are going hungry in the world today. Now, THAT makes me sad... so, again, allow me to direct you to the donation icon at the top of the page. Feel free to visit the site or Email me to learn more but the readers digest version is that im going to take down the eating challenges of S. Florida as somewhat of a stunt to get donations for the 'Daily Bread Food Bank'. I encourage you all to help me kick hunger (mine and others) in the FACE!

Last, but not least, something uh-maize-ing happened today. I mentioned to my mum-zies that i was thinking about pulling my savings moula and buying a refurbished video camera so i could start some video postage (WHOOPS, Gave away the surprise) but, then she told me to wait before i went to Best Buy... left the room for ten minutes and came back with a SONY HANDY-FRIGGIN-CAM! This thing is like brand spanking new and is going to fuel some new realm of postage... and WAY better documentation of the 'challenges. Which, as of now, contain

  • Terminator (pancake)
  • 5 lb burrito
  • the kitchen sink (ice cream)
  • the Vermonster (<-- google it!)
  • 5 lb burger.

Well my loves... thats all for this tired blogger. I am not off to enjoy some Neil Patrick Harris and a quilt with my name on it. Until next time, this is PanClayke reminding you that that people are like food and should not be determined as a 'label'.

Sunday, October 18, 2009


No Cakes? Well, maybe. The day is still young and there is some newly grilled eggplant chilling in the fridge. I dont know, rat-ta-two cakes? I think we may have a winner... but regardless, thats for later.

For now im instigating a new category in the PanClayke-world and that is the "TFMA List'. TFMA? Just a little shorthand for 'Top Five Most Awesome! Those Letterman fans will know what im talking about... bascially, its just a random category and you list the top 5 ______'s and give a reason why. I don't know about you, but im thinking this will be enduring and awesome at the same time. 'endusome'?
This time around:

Really? Heck yeah! I was thinking about how the 'Top Villains' are debated over and over again. Well, i got tired of seeing why Darth Vader is meaner than Micheal Myers and decided that behind every villain prompting the protagonist to save the day... there is a teacher who inspires the same hero to save the same day. So instead of a villain i started off easy and went for the polar opposite. Now, may i present (in no particular order)... TFMA Teachers!
(*critereon: A teacher - also known as a tutor or instructor - is one who imparts skills to the pupil while simultaneously inspiring the pupil towards a goal benefitting his/her life.)

Mr. Miyagi
He stole our hearts when he fixed Daniel Larusso's bike, and made us think when he would make his only student wax a car and call it 'training'. Then, he makes us cry when we find out his true love passed away in a POW camp... no matter what the emotional state Mr Miyagi not only taught young troubled youth how to defend themselves... but taught with the intention of calming a soul that had no direction. Notice that throughout the 4 Karate Kid's there was at least one occurance where Mr. Miyagi would either verify that karate's purpose is so you DO NOT have to fight and an instance of dissapointment when the student would get over zealous and use karate for the 'wrong reasons'. Not to mention, Mr. Miyagi is someone who practices and implements the subject he teaches in every movie we see him in. Even when he was getting a bit on the old side he still beat the crap out of Micheal Ironside.... for this, Mr. Miyagi is on the list.

Hannibal Lecter

Okay, awesome! We notice in 'Silence of the Lambs' that Clarice would never have been able to delve into the mind of Buffalo Bill without the shovel that Hannibal equipped her with. Couple this with the way the good doctor would evoke emotions from our heroine through random stories about lamb kidnapping and you have the recipe for a teacher who truly understands the subject matter to the point of using just about any topic to get the point across. See, he didn't KNOW about the lamb before Clarice told him... but once he had the smallest idea about what it could represent he rolled with it to the point of teaching a lesson.
(Hannibal lecter is also noted as one of the top 50 villains as determined by AFI)

Veronica Vaughn
Sooooooooo hot, want to touch the heinie, AAAAHHHHHWWWOOOOOO! Yes, call me what you will but she was a good teacher. She is one that not only used what she was good at to impart knowledge to her pupil by exploiting some *ahem* to teach about the Spanish Armada... but she also inspired our hero Billy to truly do what was right with A) his fathers hotel company and B) his choice to be a teacher. In fact im waiting for the sequel: Billy Madison: Grad Student.
Granted, it would go straight to video and star Jimmy Fallon as opposed to Sandler, but i've some to terms with this. Also, she made sure i always remember the year of the Spanish Armada just in case i end up in a similar situation one day (1588)

Yoda/Obiwan Kenobi

Yes, these both count as one person because they are from the same movie and they both helped take down the same villain. This was actually a difficult decision to make since the Emperor could also be seen as a teacher, since he inspires Vader to the dark side and all that. But i had to decide on Yoda/Obiwan when i considered the girlish scream i let out during the end of attack of the clones and the fact I say at least on obiwan quote each time i play video games. For inspiring young Luke to save the universe and, in turn, instilling ideas within Vader to bring balance to the force... Yoda and 'old Ben' rank in the list.
Master Splinter

This goes without saying, I mean... he's a rat that friggin knows Karate! Splinter is also Miyagui-esque in the sense the teaches life lessons through martial arts as opposed to just teaching how to kick the Shredder in the face! Also, be reminded of a scene in the first (BEST) turtle movie where splinter gives the life-changing advice: "all fathers care for their sons". This got a kid to leave the foot clan, betray the shredder and return stolen merch' to April O'neill; oh yeah... and it was given when Splinter was CHAINED TO A WALL CLINGING TO AN INCH OF LIFE. If that doesnt show an insatiable need to teach i dont know what does.
Man... that was awesome, the only thing that could make it better would be some pancake action... but who has the time to make a batter, heat the pan, etc.? I asked this question myself as i scoured the pantry wondering why they dont make a microwaveable banana pancake dinner. Then i thought... hummus?

Pan-Mus! Take a can of chick-peas and blend with some maple syrup, banana extract and a 'sceetch' of cinnamon and you have a spread that may or may not have been eated with the index finger of my left hand for the initial tasting and then for a little while longer as i looked through the pantry for the unsalted tortilla chips. (*note: yes... it WOULD have been gross if the chips were salted). Stay tuned for more uses of the amorphous pancake creation. Im thinking Pan-Mus and jelly? Ideas are most welcome!

Well, my friends, it is 9pm and i have to wake up to bring radio to the world so I must leave you. Tune in next time for more creations spanning both pancakes and other cuisines! Until then, this is PanClayke reminding you that there is a reason why they called it the 'magic' bullet.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Insert pancake name here

Before anything happens i must give out a disclaimer that A) I am a bad blogger since it has most definitely been too long since ive posted sumpin' and B) This post is gonna be like an elephant trunk... super long and surrounded with childish Eufamisms. Okay, now that disclaimers are out of the way....

I was feeling a flare of the islands when I awoke this morning and remembered how awesome Hawaiian pizza is. Thus, the 'Pina Cake-loda' was born. Standard batter infused with some coconut extract and chunks of pineapple in the batter and on top. Feel free to add some crushed macadamia nuts as well... but after some hard core looking the nuts were nowhere to be found (eufamism!)

Now, these had a smell coming off them that i cannot describe as anything but heavenly. I mean, look at the pure joy coming through those pores? Actually, it almost looks more like im falling asleep on my pan. Pillowcake?

Note: DO NOT make pancakes when you are hungry. Exhibit A, the abnormally big pancake on the pan that rivals the size of my head. Was it delicious? Oh yeah... and i actually flipped it without too much trouble. Granted, i had to use two spatulas, but that was nothing compared to the "tong incident of '07"

Next up on the agenda, are awards!!!
The first one comes from Mitri: the queen of Steel Cuttery
The Rules: Answer the Questions with one word answers:
1. Cell Phone: Bedroom
2. Hair: Hatted
3. Mother: Hibernating
4. Father: Missing
5. Favorite Food: Pancakes (STFU!)
6. Dream last night? Nope
7. Favorite Drink: Energy
8. Dream/Goal? Helpful
9. What room are you in? Living
10. Hobby? Guitar
11. Fear? Stagnation
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Colder
13. Where were you last night? Church
14. Something you aren't? Conceited
15.Muffins? Banana-Nut
16. Wish List Item? DeLorean
17. Where did you grow up? Atlanta
18. Last thing you did? Sneeze
19. What are you wearing? Patience (see what I did there?)
20. Your TV? Plasma
21. Your Pets? Aging
22. Your Friends? O-hana!
23. Your Life? Gift.
24. Your Mood? Hopeful
25. Missing Someone? Duh?
26. Vehicle? "Skeets"
27. Something your not wearing? Emotions
28. Favorite Store? Whole Foods
29. Favorite Color? Mountain-Dew
30. Last time you laughed? Last night
31. Last time you cried? Homeward Bound
32. Best Friend? Jesus (not a cop out)
33. Place i go over and over? Happy
34. Peson who Emails me regularly? Monster.com
35. Favorite Place to Eat? Mags!
Now... for the tagging of the six!

Note: I HAD to limit myself to 6 people since i wanted to just tag everyone in the world of blogs and be done with it. But, you can't win them all.

Next up is an award about being Creative and a bad speller:

This one has to deal with seven interesting things about myself (cue skepticism)

  1. I am deathly afraid of Gecko Lizards
  2. I talk big, but never beat any Sonic Game
  3. I would rather play Pictionary than go downtown drinking
  4. Have a crush on Jennifer Love Hewitt
  5. Steal bulk food from Whole Foods
  6. Aspire to be a competive eater
  7. Still watch Nick Jr sometimes

Your supposed to tag people for this reward as well. However, its been such a long time since this award was 'the rage' that i doubt its fashionable anymore. Im going to say... everyone? YES! Every blogger ever!!!

So, moving on. Let me alert you to #6 on the above list. You see, many of you will remember the Terminator and the fullness that entailed. Well, don't ask me why but i think i was just having an off day. There were factors involved that day that i may go into at another time. However, the other day during a google-sesh i stumbled upon a story about 'Furious Pete' and was definitely inspired. I thought, man... what a strange hero for me to have. Then i remembered 'Whip it' and thought it was high time i was my own hero. Why not? Therefore: the plan is to get more hard core in the old weightroom, increase the metabolism a bit and attack the terminator once again. Not only that, and say what you want, but I have gone as far as to find a list of the eating challenges throughout South/Central Florida. Among the challenges are a 5 lb burrito, a 10lb hamburger, the terminator, and the Kitchen Sink (biggest ice cream sundae ever!). Not only that but also, i think its high time i started documenting the wonderment that is the south Florida eating world. What do you think... man-boy vs food? From now on though... i think ill leave grandma at home. There is something about the Jihad being thrown down by an elderly woman that has severe pancake hindrance.

But Clay... your a vegan! Arent Eating challenged notoritous for being laden with animal? More about this one later my friends. (gotta save something for sweeps week)

Note: That pizza is the vegan-veggie from Joe-Jamz. Two things: 1) totally made this bad boy my beeotch and 2) anyone and everyone in the Hollywood Fl area needs to get down there now! Seriously, this pizza is like god (lower case g) on a crust.

It was actually REALLY out of the ordinary when this pizza happened. While it was awesome my dad brought it home for dinner and he likes eating really late at night. Im not a fan... but I am not one to pass on some vegan love. Long story short, i went to bed with some vegan food-baby action and had to wake up 6 hours later to go the radio station.... and had an awesome day! It was a hard week, im not gonna lie, but Thursday was filled with laughing and awesomeness... not to mention flexing my knowledge about LOTR.

This goes along with the concept i have been working to adapt recently and one that I am REALLY excited about, the concept of letting go. See, last sunday at church the message had to deal with surrendering one's life to God (since it was His to begin with) and not worry about the small things here on earth that really dont matter. Look at King Tut... im not lying when I say you cant take it with you. Now, this conflicts with the way i normally handle things (in a big way). Well, no more. I decide to focus more on prepping for the purpose God has for me and live by faith. Why such an easy transition. To be honest... Pure faith. I figured i could trust Bill Clinton for 8 years...trusting God isnt that hard by comparison.

Speaking of letting go, i have noticed a LOT more flexibility with regard to my routine and, ergo... more excitement. For instance: the day after the vegan pizza happened someone at work invited me to come with for an open mike night. And not as a guest... but as a comic. I asked him "where did that come from" he commented on how i was making everybody laug just then and seemingly not trying too hard. I told him i was just having fun... then told him i couldn't wait to go (something else for sweeps!). So now there is the pressure of perfecting a 'set' in about two weeks. Awesome... figures i would have some homework.

Homework which im going to find hard to do since the schedule is getting to be puh-retty full. Not only am i working at the morning show but also just got another internship with the promo department at the same station. What does this mean? It means three more days of working at the station doing promo calls and working on the websites event calendar, going to events to assist in the set up/tear downs and some killer SCHWAGGGG! (Flight of the Conchords season 2!) Also, my church is putting on the halloween event 'the final hour' which i am performing in. this bascially means three nights a week during the month of October where i perform a 1 1/2 minute skit over and over from 8-12 with minimal breaks (bathroom time is going to be a challenge -- btw, it totally rocks being a guy sometimes.) The funny thing is that at least once a rehearsal i was thinking of an excuse to get out of it. Why do i always do this? It seems as if im constantly self sabotaging myself because im worried about stepping out of my box. I just get really spprehensive when im out of my comfort zone and away from my TIVO (bascially, not being able to be in full control of my life). Well Clay, sorry to break it to you, but that is the last thing you HAVE been in control of for a re-heally long time. Seriously, i have been swayed by so many things that, in the end, are nothing if not inspid and frivolous. This *need* to control every aspect of me has cost me relationships, job opportunities, moving forward, emotional wellness, and physical health... to name a few. It's strange, i think the first sign was when i chose not to play my X-Box 360 when I first whipped it out of the box. What kind of guy doesnt jump on that quicker than a fumble at the superbowl?! It it definitely time to reclaim the things that make ME happy, the only catch is its been a while since i truly knew what that meant. What does this mean... it goes back to letting go/letting God. I surrender myself to you God, to use my life in a way that would glorify you and leave all others as secondary. In the words of 'Mrs. Frizzle', its time to "Take Chances, make mistakes, and get MESSY (eufamism!)

Lastly, there may very well be a new blog direction coming your way! As you can probably tell, one reason why I do not post as much as i would like is due to my lack of typing know-how. Well, im just gonna throw a couple key words out there: Video postage. Intrigued much? You know you are.

Whoa.....all that emoting really takes it out of you. 6:14! Kick me in the balls! Okay folks, that is all for today... tune in next time for sweeps topics and a pancake sure to shock the masses! Until then, this is PanClayke reminding you that the char on fruit is what the pancake maker knows as... 'Black Gold'.