TFMA!

No Cakes? Well, maybe. The day is still young and there is some newly grilled eggplant chilling in the fridge. I dont know, rat-ta-two cakes? I think we may have a winner... but regardless, thats for later.

For now im instigating a new category in the PanClayke-world and that is the "TFMA List'. TFMA? Just a little shorthand for 'Top Five Most Awesome! Those Letterman fans will know what im talking about... bascially, its just a random category and you list the top 5 ______'s and give a reason why. I don't know about you, but im thinking this will be enduring and awesome at the same time. 'endusome'?

This time around:

TFMA MOVIE TEACHERS

Really? Heck yeah! I was thinking about how the 'Top Villains' are debated over and over again. Well, i got tired of seeing why Darth Vader is meaner than Micheal Myers and decided that behind every villain prompting the protagonist to save the day... there is a teacher who inspires the same hero to save the same day. So instead of a villain i started off easy and went for the polar opposite. Now, may i present (in no particular order)... TFMA Teachers!

(*critereon: A teacher - also known as a tutor or instructor - is one who imparts skills to the pupil while simultaneously inspiring the pupil towards a goal benefitting his/her life.)

Mr. Miyagi

He stole our hearts when he fixed Daniel Larusso's bike, and made us think when he would make his only student wax a car and call it 'training'. Then, he makes us cry when we find out his true love passed away in a POW camp... no matter what the emotional state Mr Miyagi not only taught young troubled youth how to defend themselves... but taught with the intention of calming a soul that had no direction. Notice that throughout the 4 Karate Kid's there was at least one occurance where Mr. Miyagi would either verify that karate's purpose is so you DO NOT have to fight and an instance of dissapointment when the student would get over zealous and use karate for the 'wrong reasons'. Not to mention, Mr. Miyagi is someone who practices and implements the subject he teaches in every movie we see him in. Even when he was getting a bit on the old side he still beat the crap out of Micheal Ironside.... for this, Mr. Miyagi is on the list.

Hannibal Lecter

Okay, awesome! We notice in 'Silence of the Lambs' that Clarice would never have been able to delve into the mind of Buffalo Bill without the shovel that Hannibal equipped her with. Couple this with the way the good doctor would evoke emotions from our heroine through random stories about lamb kidnapping and you have the recipe for a teacher who truly understands the subject matter to the point of using just about any topic to get the point across. See, he didn't KNOW about the lamb before Clarice told him... but once he had the smallest idea about what it could represent he rolled with it to the point of teaching a lesson.

(Hannibal lecter is also noted as one of the top 50 villains as determined by AFI)

Veronica Vaughn

Sooooooooo hot, want to touch the heinie, AAAAHHHHHWWWOOOOOO! Yes, call me what you will but she was a good teacher. She is one that not only used what she was good at to impart knowledge to her pupil by exploiting some *ahem* to teach about the Spanish Armada... but she also inspired our hero Billy to truly do what was right with A) his fathers hotel company and B) his choice to be a teacher. In fact im waiting for the sequel: Billy Madison: Grad Student.

Granted, it would go straight to video and star Jimmy Fallon as opposed to Sandler, but i've some to terms with this. Also, she made sure i always remember the year of the Spanish Armada just in case i end up in a similar situation one day (1588)

Yoda/Obiwan Kenobi

Yes, these both count as one person because they are from the same movie and they both helped take down the same villain. This was actually a difficult decision to make since the Emperor could also be seen as a teacher, since he inspires Vader to the dark side and all that. But i had to decide on Yoda/Obiwan when i considered the girlish scream i let out during the end of attack of the clones and the fact I say at least on obiwan quote each time i play video games. For inspiring young Luke to save the universe and, in turn, instilling ideas within Vader to bring balance to the force... Yoda and 'old Ben' rank in the list.

Master Splinter

This goes without saying, I mean... he's a rat that friggin knows Karate! Splinter is also Miyagui-esque in the sense the teaches life lessons through martial arts as opposed to just teaching how to kick the Shredder in the face! Also, be reminded of a scene in the first (BEST) turtle movie where splinter gives the life-changing advice: "all fathers care for their sons". This got a kid to leave the foot clan, betray the shredder and return stolen merch' to April O'neill; oh yeah... and it was given when Splinter was CHAINED TO A WALL CLINGING TO AN INCH OF LIFE. If that doesnt show an insatiable need to teach i dont know what does.

Man... that was awesome, the only thing that could make it better would be some pancake action... but who has the time to make a batter, heat the pan, etc.? I asked this question myself as i scoured the pantry wondering why they dont make a microwaveable banana pancake dinner. Then i thought... hummus?

Pan-Mus! Take a can of chick-peas and blend with some maple syrup, banana extract and a 'sceetch' of cinnamon and you have a spread that may or may not have been eated with the index finger of my left hand for the initial tasting and then for a little while longer as i looked through the pantry for the unsalted tortilla chips. (*note: yes... it WOULD have been gross if the chips were salted). Stay tuned for more uses of the amorphous pancake creation. Im thinking Pan-Mus and jelly? Ideas are most welcome!

Well, my friends, it is 9pm and i have to wake up to bring radio to the world so I must leave you. Tune in next time for more creations spanning both pancakes and other cuisines! Until then, this is PanClayke reminding you that there is a reason why they called it the 'magic' bullet.