Pair-of-waffles Activity

See what I did there?Here at Panclayke we enjoy a good scary movie. However, there is something to say about the differences between something 'scary', 'frightening' and 'disturbing'. Not sure what i mean by this? To put it simply...

• Saw - Scary (plot that could happen and you really hope doesnt)
• House of Wax - Frightening (horrible movie that relies on things jumping out at you in order to try and scare you. Pretty much most scary movies in the last 5 years)
• Paranormal Activity - Disturbing (something that is real and evokes a memory or something you have gone through that makes you spill your Reeses Peecies all over the floor)
  

This movie was definitley disturbing. And yes... i have seen a ghost before. Setting the stage: Freshman year of college in the dormitory communal bathroom - had some Chinese Buffet that was looking to make an 'encore' at three in the morning. Needless to say, yours truly definitley had some tunnel vision happening. Going past the shower stalls it was a quick right turn until i found what i sought. All of a sudden someone flung open one of the shower curtains like they were looking to hit me in the face for calling their mother a whore. I didnt care who was so mad at me, i was on a mission. After everything was situated and it was time to taea breather (cautiously) i noticed, i never heard a door close - i never heard footsteps - not even the light scraping of a towel across a freshly washed body. GHOST!!!!!!!

Yeah, i saw me a ghost. This might even need to inspire a pancake (something with raisin eyes, yeah). Anyway, back to the movie. While the camera work is a bit shakey due to the handycam-look, much to the tune of Cloverfield and the Blair Witch. The story centers around a couple who have recently moved into a new house together and discover a 'disturbance' that the girlfriend has apparently gone through before. Right off the bat the audience recognizes a plot like this one (something is following the girrrrrrllllll, howl). However, what makes this movie different are two things. The first is the role of the boyfriend and his insatiable need to protect her which does nothing more than to anger the spirits within. The second are the nuances concerning the haunting. There is nothing really jumping out at you, just looking for a cheap thrill. This is a movie that gets you concentrating and opens your senses looking for something, this openness makes something as simple as a door swinging scary... this isnt to say that there arent a couple WHOA-ments (<-- playin with words!) but these are not all this movie has to offer. In the end, we at panclayke give Paranormal Activity 3.7/5 quija boards. It will definitely be rented when there is a pizza party at the casa, but will not be bought for general use.

There is also....
THESE!

Van's Waffles... from the Freezer! Freezer waffles are back in action after a reputation set by the eggo company placed the waffle in the same realm as ice cream. I guess since they share a room then they must also be the same thing. NEWS FLASH! Go and get these and reclaim your breakfast! These are not only organic but are also VEGAN! This was definitely a plus, not to mention the crispyness that comes on these guys right out of the toaster (setting 6 to those of you with a black and decker). Will i be buying these again. Well, with variations like: Blueberry, belgian, gluten free and homestyle... i would have to be crazy not to. Not to mention that the make me happyyyy

OOOOOOOOOO, whos a happy boy?!!?

Well folks, i regret to say that i will be MIA for a couple of days as there is going to be A LOT of shtuff going on soon. Add together the Morning show, promotions department and the final hour all backpacking on the other one for the next three days and you have the recipe for a menaje tois of pain. Needless to say.... im heading out to Publix tomorrow and picking up some red bulls and 5 hour energies.

However, before i head out i want to remind you all to support the Daily Bread Food Bank... i actually thought of another way to make this happen. As you all know, I have attempted the terminator with less than perfect results. So i purpose a wager. A bet, of you will, to see if I will be able to take it down or not. If not, then i will apologize and make a huge donation (i was gonna anyway but just thought i would make it seem more noble just then) BUT, when that last bite is taken... perhaps a dollar to the Daily Bread. No pressure ya'll, just really passionate about this cause.

Well folks, that is all for now. Tune in next time for a new pancake and new life-enings. Until then, this is PanClayke reminding you that a Quija board will only make the demon mad.

Consumption Junction..... what-your-function?

- would you like a.... ba-nana or berry?

Berry... Blue, that is.

Sadly my friends this is going to be another short-ski as I must embark from the casa soon. I also suspect i am a bit more tired than usual cause I have an 'aura' about me that I dont approve of. I mean, I showered and everything but there is still something. It got to the point where I needed to distract myself with some light cakerey... but could not bring myself to attempt the new cre-cake-tion I have recently been contemplating... more on that one later. Instead, today was the oldie but goodie..... Whole Wheat With Bloobs.

As i was flipping and happy about how these were turning out i asked myself why 'add-ins' are so popular in the cake world. Then i recalled an old phrase... 'variety is the spice of life'. Granted, there was cinnamon in the batter, but.... well, you catch my drift. And honestly, the textural variety that the bloobs give the pancake are perfect. Each one was like a mini explosion of anti-awesome-dants (i am so the wordsmith today!). Speaking of which... a new word was invented in between the 'yums' today.

Bloo-gasm: (n) the small explosion of flavor occuring when a blueberry is bitten into when used as an ingredient to employ a texural variation.

(i sent an Email to webster... im hopeful to hear something soon).

Okay y'all, i gotta make like a baby and head out. I apologize for the quickness and for being to verbose (...if I had a nickel). Tune in next time for a new feature, new pancake, and new attitude! Until then, this is PanClayke reminding you that the suffix -gasm makes any word ten times better.

I better have a seat saved..

Just to let you know how important you all are to me, i had to sneak in a little post-ski before work. Just two things... then maybe a bigger one when i get home (thats what she said)


First: Dont forget to donate to Daily Bread food bank! The link is right there, dont you just wanna give it a click?



Second:>

I dont know if i mentioned how im helping out with this or not, its a haunted house experience that my church has been doing. ITs been good, the goal is to spread the gospel and get people saved... and last night alone something like 2,000 people came! Praise be to God!

The Catch... sitting on a tire, outside, in the rain, until 2 in the morning. Then... they walk by and try to lift our spirits with promises of pizza today before the show starts. AWESOME, oh wait.... nevermind (veganism much?). However, the bible does say to find joy in the hardships for they are, in the end, bringing glory to God. I have never prayed harder that this will be my focus. Until then, i just need to take it easy and rest up... Panclayke - sleep = Angrypants McGoof.

I think i might just have to have a massive burrito beofre the thing tonight. Review of the best burritio ever to follow~

*UPDATE*= So, there is some time now for a more proper Panclayke update... but nowhere near enough to leave me satisfied. Like, when you leave a restaurant having payed too much money for too little food. Speaking of which...

The East Coast Burrito factory almost made up for all the 'stoggie' tex-mex food ive have since ive been home to Florida. While we have the best cuban sandwiches for miles... the burritos leave something to be desired and the breakfast tacos are non existent. However, this took those bad boys to the bank and made me remember what i love about the burrito. Tortilla love. And honestly... bang for your buck much? This thing was the size of a human baby and weighed about the same (im guessing about 2-3 lbs!). Sadly, i got caught up in a conversation before the run of the Final Hour and before i knew it someone had eaten the entire thing. I dont know that happened! Howevsies... I am not a little more prepped to take down the Terminator again... considering I pretty much ate a human child and didnt even know it (well, not REALLY a baby but... well, you get the picture). And honestly, with loads of vegetarian and a few vegan options as well... the East Coast Burrtio Factory is definitely going to be a repeat on the blog. We, at panclayke, give it 4.5/5 pads of butter.

Update on Final Hour - God's will and not my own... that is the mantra that i hav been repeating as i sit on a tired at two in the morning doing a 2 minute scene for the 100th time. Sounds fun? Well, what if i added the rainstorms of late and the fact that we are outside to the equation? You wanna help out right now dont you? But again, God's will be done. I DO know that tons of people have been showing up and a number of people have received God's love and gotten saved. There is a part of me that says this is not important... but the 'correct' thinking dictates this as the most noble job on earth. Four days and the rest of my life, thats all. But like I said... i better have a seat saved.

That's all for now Meine Lieblings! Tune in next time for a new pan-creation and a dedication to the strongest of the strong! Until then, this is PanClayke reminding you to that you are what you eat... and apparently I am 14 inches long and weigh 2.5 lbs (HELLO!).

Because it made me smile.

In surfing the web i have come across many things.

• grapefruit diet



• total body cleanse



• the 'obey' rule to get flat abs



• cosmetic surgeon websites



• online calorie counterd



• online support groups



• facebook



• Bo Burnham
  

All these things are good and they serve a purpose... but for the most part do not make people smile. In fact, has anyone else noticed were normally stressed when we log on to google? I think this is because we are searching for something and are frustrated since we have NO CLUE what it is. I mean, if we did then we would not be on the internet looking for it. Because, looking for it means that we dont have it, ergo---

literally, my eyes just crossed..

Anyhoo... once in a blue moon my travels lead me to something that peels back the lips like a ripe 'naner and exposes the 32 pearly chicklets the world needs more of. Today was such a day when i stumbed upon this. You see, being overweight did teach me one thing. You are a lot happier, albiet... not always healthier. I never knew why, but there were some days where i could not keep the smile from my face and others where making the peeps around me ROFL was commonplace. I couldnt run a mile to save my life though, which is apparently all that matters in high school.

What am I saying... what am I saying... hold on, let me 'google' it. OH YEAH. Society is warped, based A LOT around the outside. Dont get me wrong... i can be as shallow as the next guy, but if there is a cricket in my jolly rancher wrapper.. i dont care how pretty the wrapper is cause I am not going to eat a friggin cricket. Unless its Jiminey, in which case i will throw the Kaibash down on that sephlopod. But yes, the outside shouldn't matter... but, sadly, it does in modern society. The solution is, what i shall call: THE PERFECT LIFESTYLE! Just follow these easy steps and you will have the best life there is.

• Know that you are not your own- we belong to God and He is in control. It may be scary to think we are 'powerless' but i trust Him a lot more than myself.


• Get out on occasion- show the world your awesomeness! I have never been to the louve so i have yet to see the Mona Lisa. Even if one is in france they have to wait in line and be bored... then theyre in a bad mood and don't appreciate it as much. But, if the lady was in a public square of some kind then there would be a much greater ease to see her... which is why DaVinci did it in the first place.


• Be a Hero - exercise is a good thing, but not if you dont enjoy it! I like to be superman so i like to strength train... but i dont run because it sucks worse than a recently un-clogged toilet. Therefore, find whats fun and train to do it. Also, take advice from 'Whip It" and be your OWN hero. i.e.=find a role madel and aspire from there.


• Pretend its your grandma - Were you about to NOT hold the door for that lady? Were you about to cut that guy off on the interstate? What if that was Nonna?


• Be Confident - there is one scene in the Neverending Story where Atreyu is walking through the gate to get to the Southern Oracle (dont ask me why he's walking... I KNOW THE FLYING DRAGON IT RIGHT THERE!) and the trip is pretty problem free... until he starts to doubt himself. Then he almost gets zapped by freaky eye lasers from a sphinx with an awesome rack! The lesson... when you are confident that you are the best you can be... nobody can touch you. Not even with eye lasers.

Well, there you have it, the prefect plan. follow it until you die and let me know what happens. Wow... that was morbid and unecessary, in return i will close with some humor...

People Who Are Overweight: Ben Franklin, Pope Benedict XVII, John Candy, Reuben Studdard, John Adams, Gerald Ford, Henry Ford, Hurley: from Lost and Stanley: from The Office. Oprah, Horatio Sanz, Drew Carey (just donated 50 grand to Feeding South Florida) Ben AND Jerry, Aretha Franklin and Aaron Neville, Christopher Columbus, Socrates, King Arthur and everyboy's father.

People Who are 'Slender': Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Carrot Top, Lucifer, Osama Bin Laden, Lex Luthor, Napoleon, Kim Jong Il, Benito Mussolini, Count Dracula, Lex Luthor, Attila the Hun, Ted Bundy, Mary: Queen of the Scots and Ryan Seacreast.

Well my Peeps, there you have it. I hope, at the very least, a smile was cracked and the world was made a little lighter. Please remember to spread the word about Feeding South Florida as well! Until next time, this is Panclayke reminding you that TOP CHEF RESTAURANT WARS IS TONIGHT!

Labels

Being a dieter and a vegan have made me realize the importance of label checking. Who knew that nearly every 'vegetarian' product is nowhere near vegan. Well, regardless... ill tell you who knows now.

OOOOOOO! Before i get to deep into the black hole of my mind allow me to let the flight attendant direct you to the link to the right ---->. Yes, yours truly is going to put the 'NO' in November when he takes down the Terminator... once and for all. Be prepared for a video that will make you laugh, cry, hurl, pass out, laugh again and leave you wanting peanuts for some reason.

Okay... back to labels. The are nowhere near as helpful as people wish they were, in my opinion. Yes, they are great in respect of telling what the ingredients are in foods. Heaven knows that there are enough allergies and intolerances in the world today without people needing to constantly worry about weather or not their bread contains something that will make them sick.

On the other hand.... there is an aspect of obsession. Horrible, nagging, thought-clouding and mind numbing obsession. I remember spending 2 hours in the grocery aisles looking at the differences between THIS bread and THAT bread. "Which has more protein. Whats the serving size? Is there enough fiber in this one?" Yeah... im a freak, or at least was. The only thing is you fail to see yourself in that way since the realm of thinking is: "They put the labels there, i HAVE to check them." This way of 'healthful thinking' would result in me spending 5-10 minutes looking at a label having an inner debate about whether or not i should eat something... later on, it evolved into weighing out apples and oranges and making sure the lighter ones were what i went with. And, sad but true, there was even a period where the food scale would come out and weight/measure bagged salad. Friggin iceberg lettuce down to the exact ounce. Good Lord, just saying it makes me wonder how something like that can be thought of as 'healthy'.

If your still hanging around, then mad props to you. Like i said here i feel the need to be more personal throughout the Panclayke-sphere... maybe to my detriment, but only time will tell. That being said, i dont think there is anything more personal than the contents of ones fridge/pantry.

Yeah... remember how i mentioned how labels suck? The tupperware is definitely insane, mostly homemade hummus but still. This leads me to my next challenge.... THE PANTRY CHALLENGE! Cleaning out the pantry the only way I know how... by eating it! (There is gonna be a LOT of hummus sandwiches) Now, there is still going to be trips to publix/whole foods for fresh things (fruit, bread, veggies, etc), but no other food will be coming in the house until the tomb is empty. Why do it... that brings me to my next point...

Okay, so ive been eating vegan for a while now. This, i find, works well since apples and sweet potatoes dont come with a nutrition label. I've learned to appreciate fresh food and respect it at the same time. Even though the tomatos on the vine didnt have a 'personality', there is still the inkling that it is helping me be better by nourishing me. Ergo... when said tomato goes bad i always feel guilty... almost ungrateful and disrepectful (i am SUPER-sensitive... hey, i have a super power!). There is also a more real guilt to be had... in the sense that many are going hungry in the world today. Now, THAT makes me sad... so, again, allow me to direct you to the donation icon at the top of the page. Feel free to visit the site or Email me to learn more but the readers digest version is that im going to take down the eating challenges of S. Florida as somewhat of a stunt to get donations for the 'Daily Bread Food Bank'. I encourage you all to help me kick hunger (mine and others) in the FACE!

Last, but not least, something uh-maize-ing happened today. I mentioned to my mum-zies that i was thinking about pulling my savings moula and buying a refurbished video camera so i could start some video postage (WHOOPS, Gave away the surprise) but, then she told me to wait before i went to Best Buy... left the room for ten minutes and came back with a SONY HANDY-FRIGGIN-CAM! This thing is like brand spanking new and is going to fuel some new realm of postage... and WAY better documentation of the 'challenges. Which, as of now, contain

• Terminator (pancake)
• 5 lb burrito
• the kitchen sink (ice cream)
• the Vermonster (<-- google it!)
• 5 lb burger.

Well my loves... thats all for this tired blogger. I am not off to enjoy some Neil Patrick Harris and a quilt with my name on it. Until next time, this is PanClayke reminding you that that people are like food and should not be determined as a 'label'.

TFMA!

No Cakes? Well, maybe. The day is still young and there is some newly grilled eggplant chilling in the fridge. I dont know, rat-ta-two cakes? I think we may have a winner... but regardless, thats for later.

For now im instigating a new category in the PanClayke-world and that is the "TFMA List'. TFMA? Just a little shorthand for 'Top Five Most Awesome! Those Letterman fans will know what im talking about... bascially, its just a random category and you list the top 5 ______'s and give a reason why. I don't know about you, but im thinking this will be enduring and awesome at the same time. 'endusome'?

This time around:

TFMA MOVIE TEACHERS

Really? Heck yeah! I was thinking about how the 'Top Villains' are debated over and over again. Well, i got tired of seeing why Darth Vader is meaner than Micheal Myers and decided that behind every villain prompting the protagonist to save the day... there is a teacher who inspires the same hero to save the same day. So instead of a villain i started off easy and went for the polar opposite. Now, may i present (in no particular order)... TFMA Teachers!

(*critereon: A teacher - also known as a tutor or instructor - is one who imparts skills to the pupil while simultaneously inspiring the pupil towards a goal benefitting his/her life.)

Mr. Miyagi

He stole our hearts when he fixed Daniel Larusso's bike, and made us think when he would make his only student wax a car and call it 'training'. Then, he makes us cry when we find out his true love passed away in a POW camp... no matter what the emotional state Mr Miyagi not only taught young troubled youth how to defend themselves... but taught with the intention of calming a soul that had no direction. Notice that throughout the 4 Karate Kid's there was at least one occurance where Mr. Miyagi would either verify that karate's purpose is so you DO NOT have to fight and an instance of dissapointment when the student would get over zealous and use karate for the 'wrong reasons'. Not to mention, Mr. Miyagi is someone who practices and implements the subject he teaches in every movie we see him in. Even when he was getting a bit on the old side he still beat the crap out of Micheal Ironside.... for this, Mr. Miyagi is on the list.

Hannibal Lecter

Okay, awesome! We notice in 'Silence of the Lambs' that Clarice would never have been able to delve into the mind of Buffalo Bill without the shovel that Hannibal equipped her with. Couple this with the way the good doctor would evoke emotions from our heroine through random stories about lamb kidnapping and you have the recipe for a teacher who truly understands the subject matter to the point of using just about any topic to get the point across. See, he didn't KNOW about the lamb before Clarice told him... but once he had the smallest idea about what it could represent he rolled with it to the point of teaching a lesson.

(Hannibal lecter is also noted as one of the top 50 villains as determined by AFI)

Veronica Vaughn

Sooooooooo hot, want to touch the heinie, AAAAHHHHHWWWOOOOOO! Yes, call me what you will but she was a good teacher. She is one that not only used what she was good at to impart knowledge to her pupil by exploiting some *ahem* to teach about the Spanish Armada... but she also inspired our hero Billy to truly do what was right with A) his fathers hotel company and B) his choice to be a teacher. In fact im waiting for the sequel: Billy Madison: Grad Student.

Granted, it would go straight to video and star Jimmy Fallon as opposed to Sandler, but i've some to terms with this. Also, she made sure i always remember the year of the Spanish Armada just in case i end up in a similar situation one day (1588)

Yoda/Obiwan Kenobi

Yes, these both count as one person because they are from the same movie and they both helped take down the same villain. This was actually a difficult decision to make since the Emperor could also be seen as a teacher, since he inspires Vader to the dark side and all that. But i had to decide on Yoda/Obiwan when i considered the girlish scream i let out during the end of attack of the clones and the fact I say at least on obiwan quote each time i play video games. For inspiring young Luke to save the universe and, in turn, instilling ideas within Vader to bring balance to the force... Yoda and 'old Ben' rank in the list.

Master Splinter

This goes without saying, I mean... he's a rat that friggin knows Karate! Splinter is also Miyagui-esque in the sense the teaches life lessons through martial arts as opposed to just teaching how to kick the Shredder in the face! Also, be reminded of a scene in the first (BEST) turtle movie where splinter gives the life-changing advice: "all fathers care for their sons". This got a kid to leave the foot clan, betray the shredder and return stolen merch' to April O'neill; oh yeah... and it was given when Splinter was CHAINED TO A WALL CLINGING TO AN INCH OF LIFE. If that doesnt show an insatiable need to teach i dont know what does.

Man... that was awesome, the only thing that could make it better would be some pancake action... but who has the time to make a batter, heat the pan, etc.? I asked this question myself as i scoured the pantry wondering why they dont make a microwaveable banana pancake dinner. Then i thought... hummus?

Pan-Mus! Take a can of chick-peas and blend with some maple syrup, banana extract and a 'sceetch' of cinnamon and you have a spread that may or may not have been eated with the index finger of my left hand for the initial tasting and then for a little while longer as i looked through the pantry for the unsalted tortilla chips. (*note: yes... it WOULD have been gross if the chips were salted). Stay tuned for more uses of the amorphous pancake creation. Im thinking Pan-Mus and jelly? Ideas are most welcome!

Well, my friends, it is 9pm and i have to wake up to bring radio to the world so I must leave you. Tune in next time for more creations spanning both pancakes and other cuisines! Until then, this is PanClayke reminding you that there is a reason why they called it the 'magic' bullet.

Insert pancake name here

Before anything happens i must give out a disclaimer that A) I am a bad blogger since it has most definitely been too long since ive posted sumpin' and B) This post is gonna be like an elephant trunk... super long and surrounded with childish Eufamisms. Okay, now that disclaimers are out of the way....



...PANCAKES HOOOO!
I was feeling a flare of the islands when I awoke this morning and remembered how awesome Hawaiian pizza is. Thus, the 'Pina Cake-loda' was born. Standard batter infused with some coconut extract and chunks of pineapple in the batter and on top. Feel free to add some crushed macadamia nuts as well... but after some hard core looking the nuts were nowhere to be found (eufamism!)



Now, these had a smell coming off them that i cannot describe as anything but heavenly. I mean, look at the pure joy coming through those pores? Actually, it almost looks more like im falling asleep on my pan. Pillowcake?

Note: DO NOT make pancakes when you are hungry. Exhibit A, the abnormally big pancake on the pan that rivals the size of my head. Was it delicious? Oh yeah... and i actually flipped it without too much trouble. Granted, i had to use two spatulas, but that was nothing compared to the "tong incident of '07"

Next up on the agenda, are awards!!!

The first one comes from Mitri: the queen of Steel Cuttery
The Rules: Answer the Questions with one word answers:

1. Cell Phone: Bedroom

2. Hair: Hatted

3. Mother: Hibernating

4. Father: Missing

5. Favorite Food: Pancakes (STFU!)

6. Dream last night? Nope

7. Favorite Drink: Energy

8. Dream/Goal? Helpful

9. What room are you in? Living

10. Hobby? Guitar

11. Fear? Stagnation

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Colder

13. Where were you last night? Church

14. Something you aren't? Conceited

15.Muffins? Banana-Nut

16. Wish List Item? DeLorean

17. Where did you grow up? Atlanta

18. Last thing you did? Sneeze

19. What are you wearing? Patience (see what I did there?)

20. Your TV? Plasma

21. Your Pets? Aging

22. Your Friends? O-hana!

23. Your Life? Gift.

24. Your Mood? Hopeful

25. Missing Someone? Duh?

26. Vehicle? "Skeets"

27. Something your not wearing? Emotions

28. Favorite Store? Whole Foods

29. Favorite Color? Mountain-Dew

30. Last time you laughed? Last night

31. Last time you cried? Homeward Bound

32. Best Friend? Jesus (not a cop out)

33. Place i go over and over? Happy

34. Peson who Emails me regularly? Monster.com

35. Favorite Place to Eat? Mags!

Now... for the tagging of the six!

-
Jose

-Mike

-Gaby

-Jessica

-Gina

-Tori

Note: I HAD to limit myself to 6 people since i wanted to just tag everyone in the world of blogs and be done with it. But, you can't win them all.

Next up is an award about being Creative and a bad speller:

This one has to deal with seven interesting things about myself (cue skepticism)

1. I am deathly afraid of Gecko Lizards
2. I talk big, but never beat any Sonic Game
3. I would rather play Pictionary than go downtown drinking
4. Have a crush on Jennifer Love Hewitt
5. Steal bulk food from Whole Foods
6. Aspire to be a competive eater
7. Still watch Nick Jr sometimes

Your supposed to tag people for this reward as well. However, its been such a long time since this award was 'the rage' that i doubt its fashionable anymore. Im going to say... everyone? YES! Every blogger ever!!!


So, moving on. Let me alert you to #6 on the above list. You see, many of you will remember the Terminator and the fullness that entailed. Well, don't ask me why but i think i was just having an off day. There were factors involved that day that i may go into at another time. However, the other day during a google-sesh i stumbled upon a story about 'Furious Pete' and was definitely inspired. I thought, man... what a strange hero for me to have. Then i remembered 'Whip it' and thought it was high time i was my own hero. Why not? Therefore: the plan is to get more hard core in the old weightroom, increase the metabolism a bit and attack the terminator once again. Not only that, and say what you want, but I have gone as far as to find a list of the eating challenges throughout South/Central Florida. Among the challenges are a 5 lb burrito, a 10lb hamburger, the terminator, and the Kitchen Sink (biggest ice cream sundae ever!). Not only that but also, i think its high time i started documenting the wonderment that is the south Florida eating world. What do you think... man-boy vs food? From now on though... i think ill leave grandma at home. There is something about the Jihad being thrown down by an elderly woman that has severe pancake hindrance.

But Clay... your a vegan! Arent Eating challenged notoritous for being laden with animal? More about this one later my friends. (gotta save something for sweeps week)

Note: That pizza is the vegan-veggie from Joe-Jamz. Two things: 1) totally made this bad boy my beeotch and 2) anyone and everyone in the Hollywood Fl area needs to get down there now! Seriously, this pizza is like god (lower case g) on a crust.

It was actually REALLY out of the ordinary when this pizza happened. While it was awesome my dad brought it home for dinner and he likes eating really late at night. Im not a fan... but I am not one to pass on some vegan love. Long story short, i went to bed with some vegan food-baby action and had to wake up 6 hours later to go the radio station.... and had an awesome day! It was a hard week, im not gonna lie, but Thursday was filled with laughing and awesomeness... not to mention flexing my knowledge about LOTR.

This goes along with the concept i have been working to adapt recently and one that I am REALLY excited about, the concept of letting go. See, last sunday at church the message had to deal with surrendering one's life to God (since it was His to begin with) and not worry about the small things here on earth that really dont matter. Look at King Tut... im not lying when I say you cant take it with you. Now, this conflicts with the way i normally handle things (in a big way). Well, no more. I decide to focus more on prepping for the purpose God has for me and live by faith. Why such an easy transition. To be honest... Pure faith. I figured i could trust Bill Clinton for 8 years...trusting God isnt that hard by comparison.

Speaking of letting go, i have noticed a LOT more flexibility with regard to my routine and, ergo... more excitement. For instance: the day after the vegan pizza happened someone at work invited me to come with for an open mike night. And not as a guest... but as a comic. I asked him "where did that come from" he commented on how i was making everybody laug just then and seemingly not trying too hard. I told him i was just having fun... then told him i couldn't wait to go (something else for sweeps!). So now there is the pressure of perfecting a 'set' in about two weeks. Awesome... figures i would have some homework.

Homework which im going to find hard to do since the schedule is getting to be puh-retty full. Not only am i working at the morning show but also just got another internship with the promo department at the same station. What does this mean? It means three more days of working at the station doing promo calls and working on the websites event calendar, going to events to assist in the set up/tear downs and some killer SCHWAGGGG! (Flight of the Conchords season 2!) Also, my church is putting on the halloween event 'the final hour' which i am performing in. this bascially means three nights a week during the month of October where i perform a 1 1/2 minute skit over and over from 8-12 with minimal breaks (bathroom time is going to be a challenge -- btw, it totally rocks being a guy sometimes.) The funny thing is that at least once a rehearsal i was thinking of an excuse to get out of it. Why do i always do this? It seems as if im constantly self sabotaging myself because im worried about stepping out of my box. I just get really spprehensive when im out of my comfort zone and away from my TIVO (bascially, not being able to be in full control of my life). Well Clay, sorry to break it to you, but that is the last thing you HAVE been in control of for a re-heally long time. Seriously, i have been swayed by so many things that, in the end, are nothing if not inspid and frivolous. This *need* to control every aspect of me has cost me relationships, job opportunities, moving forward, emotional wellness, and physical health... to name a few. It's strange, i think the first sign was when i chose not to play my X-Box 360 when I first whipped it out of the box. What kind of guy doesnt jump on that quicker than a fumble at the superbowl?! It it definitely time to reclaim the things that make ME happy, the only catch is its been a while since i truly knew what that meant. What does this mean... it goes back to letting go/letting God. I surrender myself to you God, to use my life in a way that would glorify you and leave all others as secondary. In the words of 'Mrs. Frizzle', its time to "Take Chances, make mistakes, and get MESSY (eufamism!)

Lastly, there may very well be a new blog direction coming your way! As you can probably tell, one reason why I do not post as much as i would like is due to my lack of typing know-how. Well, im just gonna throw a couple key words out there: Video postage. Intrigued much? You know you are.

Whoa.....all that emoting really takes it out of you. 6:14! Kick me in the balls! Okay folks, that is all for today... tune in next time for sweeps topics and a pancake sure to shock the masses! Until then, this is PanClayke reminding you that the char on fruit is what the pancake maker knows as... 'Black Gold'.

What you YOU like for breakfast Johhny?

I still remember the first time i saw this and how much wonderment it brought junior year of college. It also makes me remember all the people that i had the honor of coming into contact with coupled with the sadness that i sometimes feel since i don't get to see them nearly as much anymore.... you know, due to the whole different time-zone thing. I wont go too deep into it... but i thought i would toss out a list of the bullet points that stick out as of right now.

• Pint night at Opal Divines - in spite of me not drinking
• Pancakes and breakfast tacos
• 3:10 to Yuma
• Katamari Damacy and We <3>
• Costume Parties
• Bohemian Rhapsody and the dressing room 'choir'
• Halo in a dorm room
• Clap-On!
• Denim shirts and syrup
• Whataburger
  Moonquake Shake
• Sea World
• Sighs of relief
• Jak, Daxter, Ratchet and Clank
• The Chronicles of Narnia
• Splitting a PB&J on a free couch
• Hiding a kitten in my room
• Floor Sweeps
• Energy Drinks
• The Office
• 'Eating Grass'
• Living room forts
• Snow days
• Reading a book in a tree
• Getting all the free muffins i want
• The first time I saw Amelie
• Chinese Buffet once a year
• Metro coffeehouse and finding 3 penny's
• Big Mountain Dew from KFC
• HUNGRY MAN!
  

... and many many more. They may not make sense... and there are definitely some that should be up there... so let me know what those are and I will remedy that PDQ. But, until then, I leave you with this...

Hug a Carb Month, indeed!

'Reminisce Muffin'. Until next time, this is PanClayke reminding you that the same method used to make muffin batter is how one should mix pancake batter. Thank you Alton Brown!

Good, Better, Best!

-Good= Whip It! Now, if you thought Kitty Pride and Juno Maguff were tough then you haven't met Bliss Cavender. Just a small town girl, living in her lonely world, she took the midnight train (or station wagon) to Austin, TX to flex her woman guns in the Texas Roller Derby. Big deal, you say? Well, answer me this... have you ever seen an actual derby? Unles your from the pan-handle then the answer is probably no... i feel sorry for you. They should sell depends at the door with the way these women intimidate the crap out of you (literally). Hollywood has ruined a sport via film before (thank you Semi-Pro) but this one definitely did the derby some justice. Keeping the girls tough and feminine simultaneously. Not to mention a stellar cast. Please allow me to drop some names: Marcia Gay Harden, Daniel Stern, Drew Barrymore (who also directs) and Juliette Lewis just to name a few. May be a bit female heavy... but this is no Waiting to Exhale. There is plenty of Testosterone to go around. Not to mention the message is one that really hits home for a lot of people. How many of us have felt trapped in a cage waiting for inspiration to get out? How many of us want to just "Be our own hero"? (*raises hand)

-Better= Zombieland keeps the testosterone flowing with a comedy that will also leave you a little startled. Granted, this bad boy was no Shaun of the Dead, but how many movies can say they are? I mean... other than Shaun of the Dead. Anyway, Woody Harrelson is indeed a natural born killer once again pumping out enough man juice to make Angela Landsbury want to pick up an Uzi and blow the head off a flesh eating zombie. Couple that with the comedic delivery of Jesse Eisenberg (Adventureland) and you have a recipe for an awesome movie-cake. And, lest we forget, our own Little Miss Sunshine Abigail Breslin who is proving time and time again that she will not only tug at your heartstrings but also wail in the Air Guitar of awesome! There is also one of the best cameos ever, but you have to see the movie to figure out that one. Speaking of Cameos... i have never left a movie theater wanting a twinkie more. Again... another reason to see the movie, and another idea for the most awesome pancake yet. While there were a couple times where the story gets a bit 'zombie movie commonplace' and there are also some scenes where Eisenberg makes me want to blow my own head off (THERE IS ONLY ONE MICHAEL CERA SIR... I APOLOGIZE!) this movie is still a must see for both the die hard and the occasional zombie fan.

Best!- GUESS WHO IS OUT OF THE PANCAKE RUT?! No.... not Alton Brown, seriously??? Bobby Flay?!?! You think Flay? I have finally cracked the matrix of making a vegan pancake that not only has a good amount of nutrition.... but is also tender and light. However, note that these will strick to your ribs.. I had the last batch about 4 hours ago and I am still feeling them. The trick is All.Purpose.Flour. Thats right... Regular old flour that i know you have a bag lurking in the pantry right now. See, ironically, while Whole Wheat flours are much healthier and are good for those seeking to keep a trim figure... they do go far in terms of keeping the pancake heavy (IRONIC!). Thus... no matter the level of aking powder the pancakes would come out dense and heavy. Now, this is not a bad thing at all... in fact i kind of like the Lumberjack sensation of wolfing down some flapjacks before work... but there are some times where Gelato is better than fro-yo and a muffin is better than a cookie. What am i saying? There is a time and a place for everything, yeah that's it. Now, dont get me wrong... there is no need to go balls to the wall when it comes to AP flour (i do still agree that it is almost totally devoid of all nutritional value). But, adding a bit to the batter (about 2 tbsp per 1/4C Whole Wheat Flour) will keep the batter from getting too heavy and results in the kin of panckes we remember Grandma making at 7am on christmas morning.

What was done with this new information/experiementation? Well, i give you....

Chicken Pot Pancakes!

A savory blend of Whole Wheat and All Purpose Flour bursting with the flavor of Black Pepper and swanson broth (who saw that one coming). These offerings are perfect for the savory breakfast and the perfect go-to dinner. Whether the diner hails from the Bible Belt or the 13 original colonies... they are sure to make these a new favorite.

Well, there you have it. Also be sure to check out the Rachel Ray show tomorrow morning as she tried to take the "Cake-Master" title. My apologies Rach... but your kung fu is not strong. Until next time, this is Panclayke reminding you that pancakes are, indeed, a little better when they are a bit refined (flour, that is.)

Honesty Party!

I've been on the fence for a long time about how much of myself to put into this blog. Should I trust my poker hand and go all in or should i hang back and save a couple chips for the river? Should I write the bolg more for myself and make it a bit more meaty and emotional or just stick with posting a good pancake recipe once a week?

At first, it seemed a god decision to go gung ho, just emote all over the internet and talk about anything and everything that bothers me and end every paragraph with 'why am I like this/what should I do?" in all caps AND underlined. You now i was serious because that is pretty much the internet equivelent of screaming at the top of my LUUUUUNGS (im giving it baaa-aack <--- thanks Mandy Moore) Then i paused and realized this blog is on the WORLD wide web, and though of how many people are actually in the world. The answer? Hundereds..... there are literally, hundreds. Some of those people may be my future employers and others may be the women i eventually want to make a good impression on through the world of speed-dating. I'm a realist, what can I say. So, i decided to add a bit more of myself into these pages but not go all in. Hopefully this doesn't turn out like last nights baked potato and blow up in my face. That being said, i have realized that i need to get more sleep. Part of me feels like im just whining and should 'man up', but then im remembered of two things. The first being that its not about manning up, more about what is needed by each 'man'. Meaning, you may work fine off three hours of slumber and thats totally cool... more power to you. To be honest, i do "okay" on three hours as well.... but I'm the best i can be when i get seven or eight. And, as with the mighty pancake, it is not about how long they take to get on the table but rather how tastey they are. I would like to be tastey pleeeeease. Secondly, while i may not be the best 'philosophizer' i like to think i am smart enough to remember some good advice when i hear it. Some such advice stems from this genius. She once told me: "The human body has three necessities; food, sex and sleep." The first two will have to be saved for a later posting and the third is abviously important since it is dubbed 'necessity'. Therefore; more sleep is necessary.

Why did i feel the need to vindicate something that seems so trivial? Well, due to lack of sleep my brain tends to not be in the greatest state. I dont think clearly and im moody beyond all reason. It gets really bad the more I try to remedy whatever i believe to be bothering me since it just makes me more introverted and results in overthinking to the maxxxx. I can tell this because iv;e been stressing out over things i can't control (the future, other people, lifetime goals, etc) and the second is that im in a depression about lack of 'happenings' going on in my life while simultaneously having no motivation to move from the couch to do much of anything. It's time to be selfish and take care of me, which is something I neglect to do WAY more than i should... much to my detriment. Therefore, i would like to take this opportunity to apolgize to my body or not treating it as well as it deserves and make a promise to be nicer to it. A promise I WILL follow through with this time... after all, this is the one make/model that can't be traded in.

Speaking of taking care of the bod, many of you will remember the recent change in my diet to a way of veganism, meaning no meat, eggs or dairy. Think about how much that entails in todays society..... got it? Yeah, no those. Needless to say, its been a decision met with a lot of discussion and concern from friends/family. "How can you not have meat? Are you getting enough nutrition?" Now, Perhaps this is a decision best made for when i am adequately nourished/rested so we will definiely hit upon this subject later. But for now... its something to think about. Should the PanClayke stay cruelty-free? Only time will tell

OMG! CHALLENGE! Im watching Rachel Ray (no judging) and i just noticed her 'whats for dinner tonight' for monday is a... get this crap..... Chicken Pot Pie Pancake. Now granted, my original recipe has yet to be put into circulation yet, but it also means that there is something wonerful coming your way this weekend! I will, however, be changing the name of the recipe to P-Cubed (pot pie pancakes) as opposed to the earlier renditions name (chicken and dump-cakes). In retrospect, the aforementioned recipe name sounds like a show for Nicelodeon about a wimpy kid and his smelly friend. I think it is fair to say though that the Nick Network could use a bit of revamp-age.

EDIT: This may be randomly disconnected but it was too short for a brand new post so i thought i would piggyback on the earlier one i wrote today just so i could have written records of it happening. What am I talking about? Well, im working a haunted house/ministry opportunity for my church starting this weekend where i play a drug dealer in a one minute scene. This is going to go on for about four straight hours. in the heat. over and over. maybe a five minute break on the hour. But ill tell you right now, i was having fun. People were getting into it and i actually started enjoying myself after a couple of runs... despite me being apprehensive about it as people kept talking about the event and all the hurdles we are going to have to hop over. Either way... I forgot how much i missed acting. Along with the promise to treat myself better is going to have to be the promise of not forgetting what im good at and why I am here in the first place. Could i do other things? Sure... but who would ever want to is my question.

Zen, and the Art of Pancake

There is a reason my people love to cook so much, its very theraputic. There is something about making something out of nothing that can give a person a feeling of control in a world full of chaos. I think that is personifed extremely well by the cooking of the perfect pancake.

In my searches about the different cookbooks, recipe sites, youtube videos, 'secret' family recipes etc, etc... i have found no two identical recipes. One calls for more flour the other calls for a pinch of lemon zest the other says you cant do ANYTHING unless you have double acting baking powder. Who is right and who is wrong. THATS THE POINT! There is no such thing. Some people are used to thin crepe-y cakes and others NEED them to be a inch thick otherwise the nose goes up into the air and it doesnt matter if the cakes you made will give the eater the ability to fly... they will not eat them. These things are all in the eye of the beholder, the only through-line is that they have to taste good.

Speaking of tasting good, have you noticed how your grandmothers cooking always tastes amazing? No matter what meal it is very good, why? Because its made with so much happiness and love... because your grandma is so happy to see you. You give her balance by just being there. That beign said, when things are out of wack and there is a storm brewing behind closed doors a recipe will get screwed up really quickly. I can tell this because the last couple of days i have pretty much been throwing all the odds and ends into a bowl and seeing what happens... its been nice and satisfying each time. However, before and after the 'Terminator' challenge the homemade batches have been, or lack of a better word, sucky McSuckerson: mayor of suck town. Ive tried pre-making batters, using different liquids, i even ventured to WF yesterday and bought some new flours because i thought that might be it. Nothing is working and the last batch in particular has been thin, flacid and a bit too salty for my pallete. I actually went as far as to throw the cakes away this morning... which is UN-HEARD of. PanClayke does not throw anything away when it comes to food, He eats like a monkey (diet-wise and approach-wise). What could the problem be... i thinking its a lack of balance.

I dont know exactly what that means, but i do know that there is a 'secret ingredient' (opposing what Kung Fu Panda says). So, no more flour experiments and i not even gonna go near the electric skillets again because i barely had enough to pay off my 14.00 griddle pan. Its time to make love to the food again. Next up... is going to be a pancake made with love topped with the notion moving on from the past two instances. (It's the best thing to do right now, especially since its Hug a Carb Month.

And who doesn't want to hug it out with a stack o' these bad boys? Until next time, this is PanClayke reminding you that a life without balance is a lie.

Short, sweet... enough to eat.

Okay, like the title says, prepare for a shortzie. Just wanted to let you all know i was still alive after the monstorus pancake challenge. The update is the tumbly is feeling better. Yesterday i decided not to cook and to spend the next couple of days cleaning the produce out of my fridge. A good shoice if i do say so myself since my spinach was about to go bad and i do need more iron in my diet.

Also, i wanted your opinion. Many call me crazy but one thing about the PanClayke is that he is stubborn beyond all reason. Its like in 'Lost' and how the main tagline is: '' dont tell me what i can't do''. Ergo, im thinking i may just have to take on the terminator for a second time. What does this mean? It means a couple months of training and drinking more water earlier in the day on the day of the challenge. Stretching the stomach out and all that. IT would also mean, as much as i love her, to leave grandma at home and just head out with the guys... eating challenges are, after all, the pinacle of machismo. But i was also thinking of the "All you can eat pancake challenge at ihop" you see, i think one reason i felt so horrible is because im not eating meat anymore... let alone eggs and dairy. So perhaps it was my body telling me not to digest it all? Im not sure... but i wanted you alls opinion, so i popped on at work to put the question up.

"Should PanClayke re-attempt the Terminator?"

Im thinking the blogshpere motivation would be good. Also, im thinking there has got to be a charity organization or something where i could actually do this for a reason. Not just feel my own gluttony and all that, lol. Either that, or i just need to make some awesome pancakes at home... and soon, because the last batch or two i made in the test kitchen were epic fails! (Note: Stay tuned for "Kung Fu pancakes"). Also... be ready for an epic movie review post including Whip it and Zombieland.

Tune in next time for wonderful reviews, recipies and other things that begin with 'r'. Until next time, this is PanClayke reminding you that 'a coward dies many time before his death... but a brave man tastes his death but once."

Terminator.... I hardly know her.

The discovery and the challenge is presented.

This is what we were dealing with. People often ask why Mt. Everest was climbed, and the answer was "Because it is there". Well, its time to eat this bad boy... because its there!

There were still a couple more Dedications... the sheer volume of the cake necessitated more people i suppose.

Dear PanClayke... you know your in trouble when Dad and Grandma have both finished their meals and your still tucking into it. Also.... when grandma is worried your going to die.

-Yours truly was feeling strong and was seemed to have this in the bag. Then i realized what the preverbial ' wall' is, you know... the one that marathon runners talk about when they get to the last mile/half mile. For me, however, this came about 60% into the cake. Now keep in mind, not only was this 60% of a 24'' pancake that must have been an inch thick, but i had also chosen today as 'non-vegan day', giving myself the chance to see if i actualy prefer the taste of meat and dairy and went vegan only to jump on the bandwagon of the 'Skinny Bitch' hype. Believe me when i say... while it may have been a hype decision before... it is anything but now. Bite after bite just made me question every decision i had made within the last three hours. My stomach was hurting and I could barely speak above a whisper. I tried all the tricks i could think of (food combining, dipping the pancake bites in coffee, alternating between meats and carbs... however, not only was everything tasting the same after a while (salt, salt and more salt. Even the coffee tasted like salt!) but i questioned the reasons i was even still doing it. It was only for those waitresses in the restaurant and the readers in the blogsphere.

Now, know that i love you all (you know that right?) but even all the love in this little chefs heart couldn't bring him to take another bite this time around. I kid you not when i say that when i left I felt like the bottom of a shoe after one walks through a porno theater... sticky and weird. And apparently, I was not the only one...

Now, to be honest... i do not feel worthy to be called PanClayke at the moment. I know this was a task that is and will be attempted by the truly insane but that still does not stop me from feeling a sense of failure. However, im sure this will be gone once i get some fresh fruit in me (once this massive 'food baby' decides to be delivered).

Now, the final thoughts: Will i ever attempt the terminator again? Maybe in another year on non-vegan day. However, i know my body will start to remind me of how crappy i feel after taking in all the animal product and it might persuade me to do otherwise. However, i may just get on the horn with a vegan friendly diner and see if we can work something out.

Was going vegan the right desicsion? YES!!! My grandma kept telling me that my ody was not going to be able to handle it since i was used to eating so well (i opted to not listen since i am the quintiscential 'man'). But I would have to agree. After a while i noticed i was leaning more towards eating the potatos and sipping the water, even eyeing the left overs of my grandmas greek salad thinking about snagging a tomato. Evidently... it was my subconcious trying to get some actual nutrition in my body. Afterwards... i felt i could have taken it down and was actualy starting to get mad at my 'partners' for rushing me to get out of there. Then, i took a breath and asked myself why i 'wanted' to put my body through something like that? I think it was just because i really wanted one of the apples i picked up at WF yesterday, or maybe a banana fresh fron the freezer after being put in there 10 minutes ago. Uggh, i cant even think about that now though. For now it is time for a walk and then a morning wake up call to greet the radio listening masses.

Until next time this is PanClayke reminding you that there is, sometimes, too much of a good thing (Even pancakes). Tune in next time for the pancakes of the weekend and a review of Whip IT!

Vegan MOP!

Yeah, your right... like the instrument of cleaning. Not that i use one, in fact... the last time i attempted the 'swiffer' to clean up dried rum on the floor I ended up spreading it around more. Helpful hint... when cleaning alcohol up you cave to wash, soap, wash again, and dry. Its alot like washing the old coiffure, just with a mop and a bucket. Wait, its EXACTLY like washing the coif!

Hair trends aside, the 'strange' title has a double meaning. The first is to give glory to Neil Flynn! You may now him as the Janitor from Scrubs, he was also Lindsay Loan's dad in mean girls, sad that i know this. Guilty pleasure aside, the former is the reason why we honor him this day due to the abundance of Scrubs i have been lving up on recently... season 8 to be exact (SWAG!).

MOP is also serving as an abbreviation for Month Of Pancakes. Let me explain... october is vegan month of food... there, I did it. Numerous vegans in the Blogsphere are documenting the foods they eat and tips for new and aspiring vegans... however, due to my lack of experience in veganism i have opted to rebel out and focus on the wonder of Vegan pancakes. THEY CAN BE DONE! This may be interrupted breifly, more on this later, but a 99% is still an A. An A in Veganology, no wait... Veganomics (winner!). So, lets begin with...

ZUCHINNI PANCAKES!

(you put WHAT in there?)

See, i have a problem buying too many veggies when i go to the store. I dont really have a menu planned... but i know that I may want a veggie sangwich sometime during the week so i get some zuchinni. However, since produce is not as forgiving as meat, it tends to go bad before i can use it. Seriously... DONT USE IT! My toilet can vouch for this after what i dub as the 'radish inquisition'. So, since i cannot stand wasting food i decided to take a former Starbucks Favorite and MOP it!

Start with half a medium zuchinni and chop the buhjesus out of it and mix it with a little milk and sugar. Top it with Wheat Flour, baking soda, cinnamon+nutmeg, and a few chopped walnuts. Mix, pour, flip and VIOLA! You have a pancake fit for a wonderful cup of coffee! Just take a look at that. Veggies for breakast again! Remember These guys? OF course you do.

Now, the bad news. Normally I make the mix with Whole Wheat/chik pea flour or soy flour. Today... i was out of both. This is important because WW flour is heavier and, therefore, makes a more dense pancake when it is used by itself. That being said... the initial flavor was a bit offputting (and a little heavy on the nutmeg if i say so myself). I always forget that not every spice is as magestic as cinnamon. *gutteral moan* cinnamon *gutteral moan*. However, the heat from the skillet softened the zuchinni well and the Waluts provided a wonderful texture/flavor.

Lesson: Half the WW flour so its lighter, less nutmeg and toast the walnuts a but before putting them in with the dry goods. (MAN, am i critical or what?)

Lastly, as promised... what is going to interrupt the Vegan MOP? Well, let me answet your question with another. Can you click on this? IS it vegan, no... will I triumph in a pool of awesomeness? Tune in next time! Until then, this is PanClayke reminding you that guilty pleasures (pancakes and 'Mean Girls') are necessary from time to time.