What you YOU like for breakfast Johhny?

I still remember the first time i saw this and how much wonderment it brought junior year of college. It also makes me remember all the people that i had the honor of coming into contact with coupled with the sadness that i sometimes feel since i don't get to see them nearly as much anymore.... you know, due to the whole different time-zone thing. I wont go too deep into it... but i thought i would toss out a list of the bullet points that stick out as of right now.

• Pint night at Opal Divines - in spite of me not drinking
• Pancakes and breakfast tacos
• 3:10 to Yuma
• Katamari Damacy and We <3>
• Costume Parties
• Bohemian Rhapsody and the dressing room 'choir'
• Halo in a dorm room
• Clap-On!
• Denim shirts and syrup
• Whataburger
  Moonquake Shake
• Sea World
• Sighs of relief
• Jak, Daxter, Ratchet and Clank
• The Chronicles of Narnia
• Splitting a PB&J on a free couch
• Hiding a kitten in my room
• Floor Sweeps
• Energy Drinks
• The Office
• 'Eating Grass'
• Living room forts
• Snow days
• Reading a book in a tree
• Getting all the free muffins i want
• The first time I saw Amelie
• Chinese Buffet once a year
• Metro coffeehouse and finding 3 penny's
• Big Mountain Dew from KFC
• HUNGRY MAN!
  

... and many many more. They may not make sense... and there are definitely some that should be up there... so let me know what those are and I will remedy that PDQ. But, until then, I leave you with this...

Hug a Carb Month, indeed!

'Reminisce Muffin'. Until next time, this is PanClayke reminding you that the same method used to make muffin batter is how one should mix pancake batter. Thank you Alton Brown!

Good, Better, Best!

-Good= Whip It! Now, if you thought Kitty Pride and Juno Maguff were tough then you haven't met Bliss Cavender. Just a small town girl, living in her lonely world, she took the midnight train (or station wagon) to Austin, TX to flex her woman guns in the Texas Roller Derby. Big deal, you say? Well, answer me this... have you ever seen an actual derby? Unles your from the pan-handle then the answer is probably no... i feel sorry for you. They should sell depends at the door with the way these women intimidate the crap out of you (literally). Hollywood has ruined a sport via film before (thank you Semi-Pro) but this one definitely did the derby some justice. Keeping the girls tough and feminine simultaneously. Not to mention a stellar cast. Please allow me to drop some names: Marcia Gay Harden, Daniel Stern, Drew Barrymore (who also directs) and Juliette Lewis just to name a few. May be a bit female heavy... but this is no Waiting to Exhale. There is plenty of Testosterone to go around. Not to mention the message is one that really hits home for a lot of people. How many of us have felt trapped in a cage waiting for inspiration to get out? How many of us want to just "Be our own hero"? (*raises hand)

-Better= Zombieland keeps the testosterone flowing with a comedy that will also leave you a little startled. Granted, this bad boy was no Shaun of the Dead, but how many movies can say they are? I mean... other than Shaun of the Dead. Anyway, Woody Harrelson is indeed a natural born killer once again pumping out enough man juice to make Angela Landsbury want to pick up an Uzi and blow the head off a flesh eating zombie. Couple that with the comedic delivery of Jesse Eisenberg (Adventureland) and you have a recipe for an awesome movie-cake. And, lest we forget, our own Little Miss Sunshine Abigail Breslin who is proving time and time again that she will not only tug at your heartstrings but also wail in the Air Guitar of awesome! There is also one of the best cameos ever, but you have to see the movie to figure out that one. Speaking of Cameos... i have never left a movie theater wanting a twinkie more. Again... another reason to see the movie, and another idea for the most awesome pancake yet. While there were a couple times where the story gets a bit 'zombie movie commonplace' and there are also some scenes where Eisenberg makes me want to blow my own head off (THERE IS ONLY ONE MICHAEL CERA SIR... I APOLOGIZE!) this movie is still a must see for both the die hard and the occasional zombie fan.

Best!- GUESS WHO IS OUT OF THE PANCAKE RUT?! No.... not Alton Brown, seriously??? Bobby Flay?!?! You think Flay? I have finally cracked the matrix of making a vegan pancake that not only has a good amount of nutrition.... but is also tender and light. However, note that these will strick to your ribs.. I had the last batch about 4 hours ago and I am still feeling them. The trick is All.Purpose.Flour. Thats right... Regular old flour that i know you have a bag lurking in the pantry right now. See, ironically, while Whole Wheat flours are much healthier and are good for those seeking to keep a trim figure... they do go far in terms of keeping the pancake heavy (IRONIC!). Thus... no matter the level of aking powder the pancakes would come out dense and heavy. Now, this is not a bad thing at all... in fact i kind of like the Lumberjack sensation of wolfing down some flapjacks before work... but there are some times where Gelato is better than fro-yo and a muffin is better than a cookie. What am i saying? There is a time and a place for everything, yeah that's it. Now, dont get me wrong... there is no need to go balls to the wall when it comes to AP flour (i do still agree that it is almost totally devoid of all nutritional value). But, adding a bit to the batter (about 2 tbsp per 1/4C Whole Wheat Flour) will keep the batter from getting too heavy and results in the kin of panckes we remember Grandma making at 7am on christmas morning.

What was done with this new information/experiementation? Well, i give you....

Chicken Pot Pancakes!

A savory blend of Whole Wheat and All Purpose Flour bursting with the flavor of Black Pepper and swanson broth (who saw that one coming). These offerings are perfect for the savory breakfast and the perfect go-to dinner. Whether the diner hails from the Bible Belt or the 13 original colonies... they are sure to make these a new favorite.

Well, there you have it. Also be sure to check out the Rachel Ray show tomorrow morning as she tried to take the "Cake-Master" title. My apologies Rach... but your kung fu is not strong. Until next time, this is Panclayke reminding you that pancakes are, indeed, a little better when they are a bit refined (flour, that is.)

Honesty Party!

I've been on the fence for a long time about how much of myself to put into this blog. Should I trust my poker hand and go all in or should i hang back and save a couple chips for the river? Should I write the bolg more for myself and make it a bit more meaty and emotional or just stick with posting a good pancake recipe once a week?

At first, it seemed a god decision to go gung ho, just emote all over the internet and talk about anything and everything that bothers me and end every paragraph with 'why am I like this/what should I do?" in all caps AND underlined. You now i was serious because that is pretty much the internet equivelent of screaming at the top of my LUUUUUNGS (im giving it baaa-aack <--- thanks Mandy Moore) Then i paused and realized this blog is on the WORLD wide web, and though of how many people are actually in the world. The answer? Hundereds..... there are literally, hundreds. Some of those people may be my future employers and others may be the women i eventually want to make a good impression on through the world of speed-dating. I'm a realist, what can I say. So, i decided to add a bit more of myself into these pages but not go all in. Hopefully this doesn't turn out like last nights baked potato and blow up in my face. That being said, i have realized that i need to get more sleep. Part of me feels like im just whining and should 'man up', but then im remembered of two things. The first being that its not about manning up, more about what is needed by each 'man'. Meaning, you may work fine off three hours of slumber and thats totally cool... more power to you. To be honest, i do "okay" on three hours as well.... but I'm the best i can be when i get seven or eight. And, as with the mighty pancake, it is not about how long they take to get on the table but rather how tastey they are. I would like to be tastey pleeeeease. Secondly, while i may not be the best 'philosophizer' i like to think i am smart enough to remember some good advice when i hear it. Some such advice stems from this genius. She once told me: "The human body has three necessities; food, sex and sleep." The first two will have to be saved for a later posting and the third is abviously important since it is dubbed 'necessity'. Therefore; more sleep is necessary.

Why did i feel the need to vindicate something that seems so trivial? Well, due to lack of sleep my brain tends to not be in the greatest state. I dont think clearly and im moody beyond all reason. It gets really bad the more I try to remedy whatever i believe to be bothering me since it just makes me more introverted and results in overthinking to the maxxxx. I can tell this because iv;e been stressing out over things i can't control (the future, other people, lifetime goals, etc) and the second is that im in a depression about lack of 'happenings' going on in my life while simultaneously having no motivation to move from the couch to do much of anything. It's time to be selfish and take care of me, which is something I neglect to do WAY more than i should... much to my detriment. Therefore, i would like to take this opportunity to apolgize to my body or not treating it as well as it deserves and make a promise to be nicer to it. A promise I WILL follow through with this time... after all, this is the one make/model that can't be traded in.

Speaking of taking care of the bod, many of you will remember the recent change in my diet to a way of veganism, meaning no meat, eggs or dairy. Think about how much that entails in todays society..... got it? Yeah, no those. Needless to say, its been a decision met with a lot of discussion and concern from friends/family. "How can you not have meat? Are you getting enough nutrition?" Now, Perhaps this is a decision best made for when i am adequately nourished/rested so we will definiely hit upon this subject later. But for now... its something to think about. Should the PanClayke stay cruelty-free? Only time will tell

OMG! CHALLENGE! Im watching Rachel Ray (no judging) and i just noticed her 'whats for dinner tonight' for monday is a... get this crap..... Chicken Pot Pie Pancake. Now granted, my original recipe has yet to be put into circulation yet, but it also means that there is something wonerful coming your way this weekend! I will, however, be changing the name of the recipe to P-Cubed (pot pie pancakes) as opposed to the earlier renditions name (chicken and dump-cakes). In retrospect, the aforementioned recipe name sounds like a show for Nicelodeon about a wimpy kid and his smelly friend. I think it is fair to say though that the Nick Network could use a bit of revamp-age.

EDIT: This may be randomly disconnected but it was too short for a brand new post so i thought i would piggyback on the earlier one i wrote today just so i could have written records of it happening. What am I talking about? Well, im working a haunted house/ministry opportunity for my church starting this weekend where i play a drug dealer in a one minute scene. This is going to go on for about four straight hours. in the heat. over and over. maybe a five minute break on the hour. But ill tell you right now, i was having fun. People were getting into it and i actually started enjoying myself after a couple of runs... despite me being apprehensive about it as people kept talking about the event and all the hurdles we are going to have to hop over. Either way... I forgot how much i missed acting. Along with the promise to treat myself better is going to have to be the promise of not forgetting what im good at and why I am here in the first place. Could i do other things? Sure... but who would ever want to is my question.

Zen, and the Art of Pancake

There is a reason my people love to cook so much, its very theraputic. There is something about making something out of nothing that can give a person a feeling of control in a world full of chaos. I think that is personifed extremely well by the cooking of the perfect pancake.

In my searches about the different cookbooks, recipe sites, youtube videos, 'secret' family recipes etc, etc... i have found no two identical recipes. One calls for more flour the other calls for a pinch of lemon zest the other says you cant do ANYTHING unless you have double acting baking powder. Who is right and who is wrong. THATS THE POINT! There is no such thing. Some people are used to thin crepe-y cakes and others NEED them to be a inch thick otherwise the nose goes up into the air and it doesnt matter if the cakes you made will give the eater the ability to fly... they will not eat them. These things are all in the eye of the beholder, the only through-line is that they have to taste good.

Speaking of tasting good, have you noticed how your grandmothers cooking always tastes amazing? No matter what meal it is very good, why? Because its made with so much happiness and love... because your grandma is so happy to see you. You give her balance by just being there. That beign said, when things are out of wack and there is a storm brewing behind closed doors a recipe will get screwed up really quickly. I can tell this because the last couple of days i have pretty much been throwing all the odds and ends into a bowl and seeing what happens... its been nice and satisfying each time. However, before and after the 'Terminator' challenge the homemade batches have been, or lack of a better word, sucky McSuckerson: mayor of suck town. Ive tried pre-making batters, using different liquids, i even ventured to WF yesterday and bought some new flours because i thought that might be it. Nothing is working and the last batch in particular has been thin, flacid and a bit too salty for my pallete. I actually went as far as to throw the cakes away this morning... which is UN-HEARD of. PanClayke does not throw anything away when it comes to food, He eats like a monkey (diet-wise and approach-wise). What could the problem be... i thinking its a lack of balance.

I dont know exactly what that means, but i do know that there is a 'secret ingredient' (opposing what Kung Fu Panda says). So, no more flour experiments and i not even gonna go near the electric skillets again because i barely had enough to pay off my 14.00 griddle pan. Its time to make love to the food again. Next up... is going to be a pancake made with love topped with the notion moving on from the past two instances. (It's the best thing to do right now, especially since its Hug a Carb Month.

And who doesn't want to hug it out with a stack o' these bad boys? Until next time, this is PanClayke reminding you that a life without balance is a lie.

Short, sweet... enough to eat.

Okay, like the title says, prepare for a shortzie. Just wanted to let you all know i was still alive after the monstorus pancake challenge. The update is the tumbly is feeling better. Yesterday i decided not to cook and to spend the next couple of days cleaning the produce out of my fridge. A good shoice if i do say so myself since my spinach was about to go bad and i do need more iron in my diet.

Also, i wanted your opinion. Many call me crazy but one thing about the PanClayke is that he is stubborn beyond all reason. Its like in 'Lost' and how the main tagline is: '' dont tell me what i can't do''. Ergo, im thinking i may just have to take on the terminator for a second time. What does this mean? It means a couple months of training and drinking more water earlier in the day on the day of the challenge. Stretching the stomach out and all that. IT would also mean, as much as i love her, to leave grandma at home and just head out with the guys... eating challenges are, after all, the pinacle of machismo. But i was also thinking of the "All you can eat pancake challenge at ihop" you see, i think one reason i felt so horrible is because im not eating meat anymore... let alone eggs and dairy. So perhaps it was my body telling me not to digest it all? Im not sure... but i wanted you alls opinion, so i popped on at work to put the question up.

"Should PanClayke re-attempt the Terminator?"

Im thinking the blogshpere motivation would be good. Also, im thinking there has got to be a charity organization or something where i could actually do this for a reason. Not just feel my own gluttony and all that, lol. Either that, or i just need to make some awesome pancakes at home... and soon, because the last batch or two i made in the test kitchen were epic fails! (Note: Stay tuned for "Kung Fu pancakes"). Also... be ready for an epic movie review post including Whip it and Zombieland.

Tune in next time for wonderful reviews, recipies and other things that begin with 'r'. Until next time, this is PanClayke reminding you that 'a coward dies many time before his death... but a brave man tastes his death but once."

Terminator.... I hardly know her.

The discovery and the challenge is presented.

This is what we were dealing with. People often ask why Mt. Everest was climbed, and the answer was "Because it is there". Well, its time to eat this bad boy... because its there!

There were still a couple more Dedications... the sheer volume of the cake necessitated more people i suppose.

Dear PanClayke... you know your in trouble when Dad and Grandma have both finished their meals and your still tucking into it. Also.... when grandma is worried your going to die.

-Yours truly was feeling strong and was seemed to have this in the bag. Then i realized what the preverbial ' wall' is, you know... the one that marathon runners talk about when they get to the last mile/half mile. For me, however, this came about 60% into the cake. Now keep in mind, not only was this 60% of a 24'' pancake that must have been an inch thick, but i had also chosen today as 'non-vegan day', giving myself the chance to see if i actualy prefer the taste of meat and dairy and went vegan only to jump on the bandwagon of the 'Skinny Bitch' hype. Believe me when i say... while it may have been a hype decision before... it is anything but now. Bite after bite just made me question every decision i had made within the last three hours. My stomach was hurting and I could barely speak above a whisper. I tried all the tricks i could think of (food combining, dipping the pancake bites in coffee, alternating between meats and carbs... however, not only was everything tasting the same after a while (salt, salt and more salt. Even the coffee tasted like salt!) but i questioned the reasons i was even still doing it. It was only for those waitresses in the restaurant and the readers in the blogsphere.

Now, know that i love you all (you know that right?) but even all the love in this little chefs heart couldn't bring him to take another bite this time around. I kid you not when i say that when i left I felt like the bottom of a shoe after one walks through a porno theater... sticky and weird. And apparently, I was not the only one...

Now, to be honest... i do not feel worthy to be called PanClayke at the moment. I know this was a task that is and will be attempted by the truly insane but that still does not stop me from feeling a sense of failure. However, im sure this will be gone once i get some fresh fruit in me (once this massive 'food baby' decides to be delivered).

Now, the final thoughts: Will i ever attempt the terminator again? Maybe in another year on non-vegan day. However, i know my body will start to remind me of how crappy i feel after taking in all the animal product and it might persuade me to do otherwise. However, i may just get on the horn with a vegan friendly diner and see if we can work something out.

Was going vegan the right desicsion? YES!!! My grandma kept telling me that my ody was not going to be able to handle it since i was used to eating so well (i opted to not listen since i am the quintiscential 'man'). But I would have to agree. After a while i noticed i was leaning more towards eating the potatos and sipping the water, even eyeing the left overs of my grandmas greek salad thinking about snagging a tomato. Evidently... it was my subconcious trying to get some actual nutrition in my body. Afterwards... i felt i could have taken it down and was actualy starting to get mad at my 'partners' for rushing me to get out of there. Then, i took a breath and asked myself why i 'wanted' to put my body through something like that? I think it was just because i really wanted one of the apples i picked up at WF yesterday, or maybe a banana fresh fron the freezer after being put in there 10 minutes ago. Uggh, i cant even think about that now though. For now it is time for a walk and then a morning wake up call to greet the radio listening masses.

Until next time this is PanClayke reminding you that there is, sometimes, too much of a good thing (Even pancakes). Tune in next time for the pancakes of the weekend and a review of Whip IT!

Vegan MOP!

Yeah, your right... like the instrument of cleaning. Not that i use one, in fact... the last time i attempted the 'swiffer' to clean up dried rum on the floor I ended up spreading it around more. Helpful hint... when cleaning alcohol up you cave to wash, soap, wash again, and dry. Its alot like washing the old coiffure, just with a mop and a bucket. Wait, its EXACTLY like washing the coif!

Hair trends aside, the 'strange' title has a double meaning. The first is to give glory to Neil Flynn! You may now him as the Janitor from Scrubs, he was also Lindsay Loan's dad in mean girls, sad that i know this. Guilty pleasure aside, the former is the reason why we honor him this day due to the abundance of Scrubs i have been lving up on recently... season 8 to be exact (SWAG!).

MOP is also serving as an abbreviation for Month Of Pancakes. Let me explain... october is vegan month of food... there, I did it. Numerous vegans in the Blogsphere are documenting the foods they eat and tips for new and aspiring vegans... however, due to my lack of experience in veganism i have opted to rebel out and focus on the wonder of Vegan pancakes. THEY CAN BE DONE! This may be interrupted breifly, more on this later, but a 99% is still an A. An A in Veganology, no wait... Veganomics (winner!). So, lets begin with...

ZUCHINNI PANCAKES!

(you put WHAT in there?)

See, i have a problem buying too many veggies when i go to the store. I dont really have a menu planned... but i know that I may want a veggie sangwich sometime during the week so i get some zuchinni. However, since produce is not as forgiving as meat, it tends to go bad before i can use it. Seriously... DONT USE IT! My toilet can vouch for this after what i dub as the 'radish inquisition'. So, since i cannot stand wasting food i decided to take a former Starbucks Favorite and MOP it!

Start with half a medium zuchinni and chop the buhjesus out of it and mix it with a little milk and sugar. Top it with Wheat Flour, baking soda, cinnamon+nutmeg, and a few chopped walnuts. Mix, pour, flip and VIOLA! You have a pancake fit for a wonderful cup of coffee! Just take a look at that. Veggies for breakast again! Remember These guys? OF course you do.

Now, the bad news. Normally I make the mix with Whole Wheat/chik pea flour or soy flour. Today... i was out of both. This is important because WW flour is heavier and, therefore, makes a more dense pancake when it is used by itself. That being said... the initial flavor was a bit offputting (and a little heavy on the nutmeg if i say so myself). I always forget that not every spice is as magestic as cinnamon. *gutteral moan* cinnamon *gutteral moan*. However, the heat from the skillet softened the zuchinni well and the Waluts provided a wonderful texture/flavor.

Lesson: Half the WW flour so its lighter, less nutmeg and toast the walnuts a but before putting them in with the dry goods. (MAN, am i critical or what?)

Lastly, as promised... what is going to interrupt the Vegan MOP? Well, let me answet your question with another. Can you click on this? IS it vegan, no... will I triumph in a pool of awesomeness? Tune in next time! Until then, this is PanClayke reminding you that guilty pleasures (pancakes and 'Mean Girls') are necessary from time to time.