Friday, May 20, 2011

Hits and Misses

The days as of late have been somewhat uneventful. Shows in the morning and maybe a shift a week at the Broward Center to sling out liquor for the masses seeking to be entertained. This past Tuesday was such a day when I dolled out the wine at an event at Parker Playhouse. The space was beautiful but the crowd was definitely less so. It was for an event called 'Senior Idol'. If you're asking yourself "Could this event e what I think it is?" you would be right. Senior citizens singing some of the favorites fomrt their youth. Among the highlights were: Let it be, All that jazz and my personal fav.. Chatanooga Choo-Choo.

However, there was one event the other day which threw me a bit. Epona, the most beautiful car the world, was harshly beaten by an BIOTCH in a chevy who decided that she needed to make it into a Walgreens before the rapture happened! So uncool. Bitch speeds across three lanes of traffic while there are cars within touching distance and then talks to me like IM the asshole for moving when i have the ROW. AND she had a kid in the car (he was like 17 but her offspring nonetheless). Further proof why some people should not reproduce. I DO NOT need more of those people running around South Florida hurting more innocent Hondas.

The good news though, is that Epona is driveable and only cosmetically hurt. So, if all goes according to plan im going to take it to the progressive body shop and have speed racers insurance company cut me a check I will then use to fix the car. And by 'fix the car' I mean take my lady on a dream date. Thats right............... Taco Bell drive thru in a limo! Seriously, it seems juvenille but how epic would it be? Like, you know how tacos taste better in the backseat of a car when your watching the sun go down? Well, picture that..... but in a LIMO. Dream date. Superdate in fact.

Oh also, color me cool.... I just got me one-a-dose fancy 4g phones. I have all these G's and I am LOVING IT. Aint noting but a G thang..... baaaaaabaaaay.

So, to sum up. Epona is fine, Phone is awesome and i better get a check this week. Will keep you updated (of course) and.... until then, remember....... just because you CAN have kids doesnt mean you SHOULD.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Out of the ashes.......

What the EFF is up everyone in the world on the Blogsphere! Dont ask me why I decided to pop on an account that I apparently have not been to in the past year and five months but thats totally what went down this morning as I sit in a starbucks sipping this coffee that I now get FREE REFILS on what what!?!?! Yes, thats right, im a gold card member and loving it. I think i got it in record time too. Like two and a half weeks after I registered my gift card online I had somehow ordered thirty drinks at the bucks. Frappy hour indeed!

So, elephant in the room. "Clay" you ask, "why have you been hiding from the Blogsphere for the past year and a half?" Well, glad you asked my friend. The answer is there is no real answer. I would love to say ive been studying for the Bar Exam, working on my new rock opera about the Zombie Apocalypse or building churches for those invisible children in Uganda. But in reality I just woke up one morning and thought that nothing I had to say was really that interesting. So, rahter than make some adventure happen I decided to re-watch all my DVDs and see how much Wii i could play. The answer is a lot, in case you were wondering.

HOWEVER!!!!!!!!!!!! This day in the starbucks as I think over the past year and a half i realize that I had a flippin awesome year! Like, its interesting to me when I lay it all out on the table at one time. So, i decided to give everyone a quick recap of the last year and a half in a photo journey.

Starting from the beginning. During the last Oscars (when the last post was done) I was starting rehearsals for Assassins! Its a musical by Stephen Sondheim about all the people who have or have tried to assassinate a president of the United States. So fun for the whole family. Now, this production was insanely important to me since it marked the first show I have been a part of since college. Having not met ANYONE in Florida theater when the auditions were happening I was intimidated to say the least. But, for some reason unbeknownst to myself I was cast as John Hinckley and got to fire a gun on stage. AWESOME! Not only that but I also got to pretend to play guitar and got an awesome write up in the local paper about the song I sang with Squeaky Fromme (played by Chris Groom) "Unworthy of your Love". Needless to say it was an awesome production and rekindled my love for performing. Being in front of people and making them feel ways about things. Also, it was where i met my soon to be girlfriend (now my ex girlfriend). That will be the first and last time she is mentioned to enjoy it. Done? Ok, lets move on.

After Assassins closed and during the last week of performances I was blessed to have another job lined up and the 4 star Marriott Harbour Beach Resort and Spa. This hotel was swankified beyond all reason. The rooms went for like $200 a night, there were three restaurants and a private beach! What were they thinking letting yours truly work there? Well, they needed someone to host a kids show written by the first network for kids.... NICKELODEON! Seriously, this was my job. I got to play with kids all day and dump slime on them. Color me awesome! And orange for that reason. So, for three months I got to wear shorts to work, got an awesome tan, sweated like a mother effer and learned that I Megaloathe rich peoples children. Honestly, some of the kids we would perform for were so 'Entitled" it would make me weep for the future. I tried to teach them well but I guess I have to let them lead the way. Either way, it was an awesome job and it was sad that they only wanted us there for the summer season. Go figure, people dont want to stay at a beach resort during the winter! They asked some of us to stick around to work in other areas of the hotel... but not me. Why? who knows. Maybe im not as charming as I think I am, maybe cause I was stealing towels. But it mattered not cause I had an AWESOME job lined up that made me give that hotel the middle finger in a big way.

No! Playing guitar while rocking my 'Geek chic' look was not my new job, although that would have rocked! No, this is juat what I got the opportunity to do on the side while I was waiting for my new job to start....... stand up comedy! Yes, you may remember me performing at the Hollywood Improv here in Florida a blue moon ago, well it didnt stop there. I grabbed my guitar and made some more people laugh in a big way. COMING AT THEM FULL-FORCE! This particular picture is me doing my favorite bit, picking a girl out in the audience and singing a song to them titled "Can i hit that?" The answer has been 'No' just in case you were wondering.

This right here was my jam after the Nick job. Thats right, the same theater company that cast me in Assassins decided to bring me back to play Eddie and Dr. Scott in their rocking production of "The Rocky Horror Show." You want to talk about an awesome show! This was some of the most fun I've had on stage since... I dont know when. Not only was the cast awesome and amazingly talented, but we were selling out the theater some nights. A 700 seat house in WEST BOCA being sold out for a midnight show. Yes please! You know, some people shoot up to get high, but let me tell you. There is no better feeling in the world than kicking a door down and screaming 'Special Delivery" while a giant crowd cheers you on to sing 'Hot Patootie." Thats a high for you. And we get to do it AGAIN in October. See it before it goes back into the vault (hopefully this time around I wont have that flabby pooch hanging over my belt :P)

-Now, sadly I have no pics from the next chapter in this EPIC year. After Rocky ended I began my job as a singing waiter at Laffing Matterz dinner theater at the Broward center for the performing arts. It was an awesome job and I was really blessed to get it. In spite of some inherent drama that came up every now and again I loved everything about it. I loved meeting new patrons during service, my co-workers were (for the most part) the best people i've ever met and my bosses were wonderful. They were the flippin Waltons they were so nice! Their season is over to take a break for the summer but I should be going back there to work for their next season, unless they find someone better looking and more talented. Which is DEFINITELY a possibility.
WTF?!?! Yep, thats right.... more jobs!!!! Right about the time Laffing Matterz had their auditions the Actors Playhouse at the Miracle theater in Coral Gables hosted their Season Auditions. BIG DEAL since theyre one of the three equity theaters (meaning they pay well) in South Florida. While I wasnt cast in their Mainstage season (yet) it seemed i was what they were looking for when it came to their childrens theater season! I stared off the season doing a four person childrens show called King Midas and his Friends. The title is grossly misleading since King Midas is in no way they main character and none of the other characters in the show are his 'friends'. Nevertheless it was a really fun show to do, i got to play like 12 characters including Zeus, Posideon and Atlas (as you can see from the picture where im dancing with Hercules). Side note, Hercules (played by Aaron Goldenberg) is now one of my best friends. We try to hang at least once a week and hes one of the few men who have ever cooked for me, no homo. So, even if the show sucked (which it DIDNT) I got an awesome friend out of it. Oh, and did i mention it was a musical? Yes, it was. I played King Midas and had this song called "Gold Fever" that I sang FIVE REPRISES of! no joke! If i never hear that song again it will be too soon.

So, when I wasnt doing awesome childrens theater or dinner theater I would spend my time in Coral Gables at the Just the Funny improv theater. Some of the most fun i've ever had has been here. Improv comedy was something ive always toyed with but never thought of it as an art until I started performing here. When you see six individuals with a group mind its a beautiful thing. There were honestly some points where it would seem as if we rehearsed something we would perform. Thats REALLY good improv. Not to mention all the fun 'Whose Line is it Anyway" games we would get to play.... also good. This pic is from the latest show i did with them, the 12th anniversary. Granted, ive only been there a year but the fact that I get to perform with the Mainstage cast there so much is beyond me. I feel theyre SO MUCH more talented than I am and theyre just oblivious to it. But I wont tell them if you wont.

Nearing the end finally, props for sticking around this long! So, in the midst of awesome improv and after taking a break from Laffing Matterz I was doing some more awesome theater. This picture shows me playing one of the roles I knew I HAD to play before i died... Amos Hart in Chicago. This show was a blast to say the least. Not only did I get to play the ONLY endearing character here but I got to take the stage for a solo that was ALL ME. I mean, ive sang solos on stage before but there has always been someone else on stage with me. There was always a buffer to save my ass if i dropped a line, someone to play off of and someone else to give me their energy. Not this time... this time I was hanging out by myself as I busted out Mr Cellophane for a house of over 200 people. Like I said before, there is no better feeling. Making that many people laugh and 'Aww' was something I looked forward to every night. The only problem i had with this show..... it didnt last long enough.

WHAT!!! More childrens theater!?!?! You know it! Another four person show at the Actors Playhouse... but this time its in their massive 600 seat house! Its a new show that won the 'Theater for young audiences contest' the playhouse throws every year called the Emporers New Clothes. Im actually in the middle of the run now and am having a BLAST. Like, seriously... this is my job! I get to wake up every morning, put on tights and a funny hat and prance around the stage like a flipping leprechaun for an hour... and theyre paying me!?!? Fine... if that what you want.

So, there was my year in a nutshell. Some of the parts you missed. Well, did P90X for a month and might try it out again. Started dating one of the most wonderful women in the world and NO, i dont have any pics of us (yet). Got a job as a bartender that im working NOT to get fired from. Saw Wicked more times than i care to count. Made a bunch of awesome friends, gotten in three car accidents, drank a ton of coffee, broke my TV, sold my broken TV, went to the Keys for Pie, saw Black Swan and learned that God will always take care of me. So i guess im not as boring as I thought that one day.

Stay tuned for the next adventure.... which i promise will be updated sooner than a year from now!

-peace and love!